


The Undercover Screw Up Alternative

by portlandborn



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Peralteago
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-13 14:06:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 40,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14750309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/portlandborn/pseuds/portlandborn
Summary: Amy realizes she loves Jake, but he's undercover.  Will she ever get the chance?Takes place after season 1.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another Alternative Time Line story, I just like these characters way too much for my own good.

AMY

The shape of his lips, his scent, the feel of his touch, she missed them all as she wondered what he was doing right then, she closed the door to the stall in the women’s room at the nine-nine and took out his picture. His eyes, she missed his eyes, the sound of his voice when he got serious, which wasn’t very often, and often only for her ears. She had made her choice though, she stayed with Teddy, and she kept him at arm’s length by telling him she didn’t want their relationship to interfere with work, so they would see each other maybe a day or two a week, and sometimes not even then, which was fine with her, Teddy was safe, but he wasn’t Jake.

Amy sat and stared at his picture, how long had it been now? She had to think, it was May, it was May when he told her that he wished they could be more, and then he left. she thought about that night every day, the way he held his box, but that wasn’t the heaviest thing he was carrying, he seemed to shed so much weight when he confessed his feelings for her, and all she could do was smile, she thought, she wasn’t sure what her face looked like, she only remembered what she felt, desire, longing, and fear. Teddy was safe, Jake was a risk and she watched him walk away.

Three months ago, shit, it was August now, it had been three months since she had seen him, she couldn’t do anything about it now, he was gone. He was undercover with a mob family, deep cover, she couldn’t contact him, he couldn’t contact her, what could she do? All of her feelings were about to come to a head.

It was the middle of August, it was a hot day, one of those muggy New York days where the smell makes you even more aware of the heat, she and Teddy were eating outside on the terrace of a restaurant and he says it, she doesn’t know where it came from, but he said it, “I love you.”

Amy blinked several times, “what?”

“I said I love you.”

She felt like she was going to have a panic attack her heart was racing, she didn’t know what to think, no she did know what to think, it wasn’t true, for her. “Teddy, I’m sorry, I can’t. I’m in love with someone else.”

Teddy responded with a cruel laugh, “you mean Peralta? He’s undercover, Amy, you don’t even know if he’s alive.”

The I love you had been a wake up call, this was the sign, “fuck you, Teddy, we’re done, you don’t get to manipulate me, I’m not one of your pilsners to play with, plus, ya’ bore me.” Amy marched out and hailed a cab, she had never felt so free in her life as in that moment, she was taking control of her happiness, finally. 

Amy arrived at her apartment in tears, she missed him, she was miserable, yet she had said nothing when he shared his feelings, she hid behind her wall, she hid behind yet another safe person who she didn’t even love but was the type of person she was expected to be with, she was tired of living that lie, but now there was nothing she could do about it.

The next week was difficult, she was glad Teddy was gone, but she could no longer have a night or two or week where she could pretend, if even for only second, that the person she was with was actually Jake. And then it happened.

She was at her desk filling out paperwork from the day, she saw Holt walk out of his office, he looked worried, the statue of a man that was her mentor looked worried, she almost trembled with curiosity and worry about what he would say.

Holt put up his hand for their attention and closed his eyes momentarily to try and control the few tears that had begun to fall. “Squad, I have some news, unfortunately it is not good, Detective Peralta, who is out on loan to the FBI and undercover, was shot several times, he is in critical condition, as of right now it is not known if he will live through the night. I am sorry to be the one to tell you this, he was well liked here, he trusted me, and this is his reward, keep him in your thoughts.”

Amy felt the room start to spin, everything seemed to be moving, the she heard the noises, first it was Charles, a high pitched cry, the Terry’s cry, a deep almost guttural growl, then Rosa, a sound she thought she would never hear, and then she heard her own cry, that was the most foreign of all the cries to her, she had never cried like this, ever.

Before she was even truly aware of it, the detectives, sergeant, and captain were huddled in a hug of comfort and pain. Amy couldn’t take it anymore, she grabbed Charles who had stopped crying and just looked like he wanted to die, and pulled him to the far side of the room, “Charles, I love him, you were right, I love him, and now I can never tell him.”

Charles hugged her, and it wasn’t creepy, it was firm and appropriate, he whispered, “don’t give up Amy, don’t give up.”

“Santiago, a word.” Amy turned and the captain had been standing behind her, she wondered what he had heard, but she didn’t care, she had hidden it before and now she would only have pain, she should have admitted it, Jake was brave enough to do it, why wasn’t she?

Before she knew it, she was seated in Holt’s office, she had no memory of how she got there, her mind was filled with only thoughts of regret and of him. “Santiago, the agents who found him, they were listening to his wire, they heard the argument and accusations, but were too late, Peralta spoke a little before passing out from the blood loss.”

Amy sobbed, that vision, of Jake, the goofy one who would go out of his way to make her smile, to let her know he actually cared, shot and dying, in a pool of his blood, she didn’t care what the words were, she just hoped they weren’t his last. She realized as she thought of this that the captain was saying her name again, “I’m sorry, sir, my mind is elsewhere, what did he say?”

“You are quite all right, detective, you are understandably upset, the words he said were that he loved you, and even if you did not feel the same, you had to know. He repeated it several times, of course he used a contraction.”

Amy lost all control over her emotions now, she wasn’t sure if she was wailing, she didn’t care, it all had to come out, it had to get out, her pain, her anguish over bad timing and missed opportunities, it had to be released, she then felt the firm hand of Holt on her shoulder.

“Detective, you and I are going to his hospital, I have long suspected you may feel the same for him, but I said nothing, I felt it was none of my business, but lost opportunities are the hardest to forget and hardest to forgive. I am allowed in, you will be my guest.”

JAKE

Three fucking months, he had hated every last second of hit, pretending to be this guy he just wasn’t, pretending to hate cops, to schmooze up to these men who would kill anyone to make a profit, he was miserable. The only time he was happy was for a five minute period every day when he would lock the bathroom door, turn on the fan, and take out his mementos of his true life, a picture of the nine-nine, one of his mom, and several of he and Amy. His heart nearly broke every time when his phone alarm would go off and tell him it was time to return to douche mode.

He knew things about these people, all sorts of things, he thought he had enough, but the agents in charge felt they needed more, he was in and they could use this to their advantage. Jake was starting to suspect that Freddie was starting to suspect him, the agents blew him off and dismissed his feelings as paranoia. 

He stared at himself in the mirror and hated every aspect of his appearance, the earring, the hair, the eyes, he could hardly recognize himself anymore. He had longed to do this, yet now, now he missed himself, his life, no matter how pathetic. Amy might not feel the same way, yet it was thinking of her that got him through the tough days.

A week ago from today he had sent a letter to his mom, in the letter was brief note to her telling her he was okay but working on an important case, and another letter sealed in an envelope, for Amy. He was starting to feel like he was being watched all the time, the agents might not believe him, so his end might be coming soon, so the letters were sent, just in case he never had the chance.

That afternoon, that miserable hot August afternoon, he was at the bar with Freddie, Tony, and Marco. Marco was bragging about killing some guy, Freddie just watched Jake, the entire time.

“Hey, Peralta, you gonna tell your cop friend about this shit?”

“Freddie, what the fuck are you talking about? Those bastards fired me, I’m one of you guys now.”

Freddie nodded, “Okay, so you say, but I aint seen you kill anyone, that’s how I proved myself.”

Tony gently hit Freddie, “Leave him alone, he’s a good kid.”

Freddie seemed agitated though, “Uncle Tony, you give this shit more responsibility then you give me, he’s an ex cop, I’m blood.”

“Don’t test me Freddie.”

Jake looked at the bar, Sal was nervous, then Sal was yelling, Jake turned around in time to have the shots hit him in the stomach. Police lights lit up the afternoon now, agents ran in, Freddie shot at them and was killed, Tony and Marco were taken in and Jake lay in a pool of his own blood.

Agent Hilliard knelt next to him trying to do what he could until the paramedics got there, he yelled Jake’s name, but Jake could only smile, if was going to die, he could at least admit how felt about her.

“Tell Ames I love her, even if she doesn’t, she has to know.” He kept repeating it, over and over until the blood loss was too much for him.

AMY

She sat in the hospital, Holt was next to her, yet he felt miles away, her perspectives were all out of whack, she felt like she could feel Jake and he was somewhere in the inner workings of this goddam hospital, and everyone around her seemed so far away.

She felt her tears and emotions beginning to gather and about to break the dam of her calm again, just when she was about to release, she heard her name. She looked up and saw the face of a woman she had never seen before, yet the eyes, it was the eyes, she knew it was Jake’s mom.

Karen couldn’t talk much either, she managed to say Amy’s name and that Jake wrote her the letter, then she fell apart again. The letter stopped Amy from losing it, she had something to focus on. Her fingers were shaking as she laboriously opened the letter, finally tearing the envelope enough to takeout the letter. She shook as she unfolded it, written in Jake’s ten year old like penmanship was his letter to her.

Ames, if you get this, it’s probably not good for me, but I had to tell you something. I didn’t just wish something could happen romantic stylez, but I love you. I love the squinty face you make when I confuse you with my childish behavior, I love the way your lips almost growl when Charles is disgusting, I love how you touch me softer than anyone, I love your kindness, your intelligence, even your dork dance, but mostly, I just love you. I’m sorry I didn’t do this before you were with Teddy, that is my fault, I chickened out, but being with these human garbage pops has taught me I have to be brave, not just with them, but with my feelings and my life. I love you. Jake

Several people jumped when Amy’s anguished cry finally escaped her lips, Holt put his arm around her and glanced at the note, open on her lap as tear fell from his eye to Amy’s arm. Holt was proud of Jake, he put his feelings out there, Terry had told Holt that Jake was in love with her, he hadn’t seen it at first, but then as he thought back to the two of them, it made sense.

Amy lifted her head as the captain and Karen were called back, she watched as they walked to the doctor and then saw Karen point towards her, Holt came back to her. “Santiago, Jake’s mother would like you to hear this as well, she did what all good mothers do and read the letter before sealing it up again, she knows he loves you.”

The three of them stood apprehensively as the doctor began speaking, “Detective Peralta had three wounds in the stomach, severe damage was done, however, it could have been much worse, the bleeding was the hardest part to stop, but minimal damage was done to his large intestine, any worse and he would not be alive, he is not completely out of the woods yet, infection can be an issue, but we are hopeful. We will keep you posted.”

The next two hours, Amy found herself seated next to Karen, Jake’s mom whom she had never met before tonight and Karen’s arm was around Amy comforting her. Amy ached, his mom was just like him, even at the worst moments she had to help comfort others first.

JAKE

Everything was so fucking bright, why was everything so bright? His eyes tried to adjust, everything just seemed white and bright, and then he felt it, the pain, there was pain, he wasn’t sure where or why, he just knew he felt it. His mind tried to make sense of this, and then one by one, things came back, the Ianuccis, the bar, Freddie, being shot. The white light, was he dead? Why would he feel like shit then? He tried to open his eyes again,as he did, he saw the shady outlines of people, he coughed.

As he coughed, he felt a soft hand graze his and then hold it, “Jake?”

“Ames? Why are you here, I mean…” he coughed again, “I’m glad, just surprised.”

Amy’s eyes were overflowing with tears, many now running down her cheeks. “Well, this detective sort of wrote me a letter telling me he loved me.”

Jake stared at her and then remembered, “oh shit, you got that?”

Amy closed her eyes as a soft smile formed on her lips, “that was the point, right?”

“What about you and Teddy?”

Amy sighed, “he told me he loved me, and I told him I was in love with you, no, I told him I was in love with someone else and he knew it was you. That was a week ago.”

Jake laughed from his nose, trying to control it as it shook his body and hurt, “fuck, that’s the best our timing has actually been.”

Amy lifted his hand to her face, his fingers now moistened by her tears, his heart racing as he felt her soft skin and when he recognized the love in her eyes, the love for him.

“Ames, I love you.”

“Jake, I love you, I’m sorry I didn’t respond that night…”

Jake shook his head as well as he could manage, “no, don’t worry about that, it was a surprise, I knew for a while and did nothing, I’m sorry.”

Amy started to lose control of her emotions again, “don’t be sorry, be happy, you’re alive.”

“I am, huh? That’s good, it’s not as good as you loving me though, that wins. Hey, speaking of people who love me, where’s my mom?”

Amy gave him what he called her sad smile, “She couldn’t take waiting around anymore, you were out for three days as they operated, you only had four of them, and then you were just out and wouldn't wake up, I was going crazy and couldn't understand why, it was pretty intense.”

Jake didn’t know what to think, at least he was alive now, “how long have you been here?” Amy wiped tears from her eyes again, “since I found out, they tried to make me leave, but I wouldn’t, how could i? I realized I loved you, thought I might not get a chance to say it, then I thought you might not even make it, I couldn’t leave until either you knew I felt the same or you were gone.”

Jake smiled, it hurt, but he could tell Amy liked seeing him smile, “Wanna go on a date…when and if they ever let me out of here?”

“That sounds amazing.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Questions and answers

chapter 2

JAKE

He could feel her touch, his mind kept pushing away the doubts of whether it was real, he pinched himself several times when she wasn't looking at him to make sure he wasn't dead, this felt so surreal. The feelings he had carried, the weight of them, at the nine-nine they had almost done him in yet undercover they had been his motivation, but then the voice, the one he tried to put off, now what?

Her dark eyes that seemed to absorb everything shone at him, her smile, he hated himself for finding it so perfect, he hated that he found so much of what she did perfect, because he was not perfect, everyone knew this, he was more aware than anyone, he had just learned to ignore it, usually.

Finally, it was time, yes, she said agreed to a date, but his mind could not stray from the difficulties he knew would arise, soon, the questions and doubts she would have. He gulped several times, she looked at him with a look of concern, he just asked for water instead, as he drank, dread swept over him, could this ever work, she was Amy, hardworking, intelligent, so fucking beautiful, and responsible, and he…well he was Jake.

The doctors had been in to look at him and ask some questions, they told him about his injuries, he would have to ask questions later because all he could concentrate on was his partner sitting by him, the one who told him she loved him, the one who was bound to realize who and what he was, Jake, he hated thinking like that, but it was difficult not to. He had to say something, the morning would bring his mom, the nine-nine, and the rest of the reality he would have to face, it was now or never.

"Ames," he feebly said and started to cough again.

"Jake, do you need a drink?" Damn, she looked so beautiful, he had no idea how he could do this, but he had to, if being shot at close range didn't kill him, falling more in love with her only to lose her would do the job, and be way more painful as well.

Jake shook his head, "no, I'm 'kay, um, how will this work?"

Her eyes still shone, she still smiled, "how will what work, your injuries, healing?"

Jake closed his eyes, he could feel a sad smile on his face, at least what he thought a sad smile would be, "no, us, how will this work? We work together and I'm me. I meant what I've said and wrote, I'm in love with you, with every part, but you and me, I'm so me."

She definitely had her sad smile now, he cursed himself, fuck, why was he honest, he could handle the heartbreak for a week of happiness.

"Jake, I know you, not all of it is strawberries and champagne, but what is? What person is perfect? I'm not, you know this."

Jake stared and grinned ever so slightly, "you're telling the wrong person, I like all your flaws, your secret smoking, your inability to let certain things go when you know you're right, your dork dance, but I have flaws Ames, serious fucking flaws. My finances, my lack of long term relationships, and those might be the easier ones to deal with."

"Are you trying to talk me out of this, or yourself?"

Jake shook his head, "Neither, Ames, I love you, but I can't…I'm not…" he took a deep breath, "when I liked or loved you or whatever from afar at the nine-nine, it was too much, it almost defeated me, but to know that we had something and it failed, this injury would seem like a papercut to that, I aint that strong."

"Why are you dooming this before it starts?"

Jake groaned, he was fucking this up, badly, "Ames, I am being honest, like my letter, like my confession before I left. I'm just telling you my fears."

Amy nodded, "Jake, my fears are to live life in fear of failure, I do that a lot, it's why I date a safe idiot like Teddy instead of taking a chance with you, yes, you are very Jake, and that's okay. I know you, you know me, we've done stakeouts, we've seen each other at our worst and best, and yet here we are."

"Yeah, here we are, I'm sorry it took leaving to risk my life to tell you how I felt."

"I'm not, I don't think either one of use would have ever done anything, like you said, we work together, we work well together, amazingly well, it took a change in our lives to force it out, you confessed how you felt, and I was left here without you, to think about your words, and even knowing how I felt…even knowing I definitely felt the same, it took three months to do something, to let Teddy go and face my feelings."

"Noice." Jake smiled, facing emotional fears was not his thing, but he didn't think he could walk away from her now, not again.

"There you are. Smort."

AMY

Amy sighed, she didn't know where this knew super honest Jake was coming from, his confession before he left, his letter, and now this, she knew he doubted that anyone could love him for him, but she already knew this, his life had not exactly shown him being himself was an equation for love and happiness. His dad abandoned him and was huge dick, according to Jake, he had been dumped by the few women he loved, not dated, but loved. Only his mom had his been his constant, and he was her protector, making it a different relationship from his others. Even at the nine-nine, he was considered brilliant, but he was Jake, goofy, and irresponsible.

He was looking at her, no one looked at her like he did, she couldn't explain it, it was admiration mixed with a calmness or something, not like her ex-boyfriends, they looked at her like she was a safe investment and an occasional look of lust, this was different, it was better. "I'm scared too, Jake, but after all of this, if we don't try, don't you think we'd regret it."

Jake nodded slowly, "yeah, defs."

Amy pressed her fingers softly against his cheek, "don't do the Jake, stay with me."

"Sorry, I…I feel the same way, I tend to shut out things I don't want to deal with, but you probably know that, you are Amy Santiago."

"Yeah, I know." Amy looked at him, his eyes, they seemed so happy, here he was, shot and in pain, yet he was happy, because he was there with her. She didn't know if it was the way he was looking at her, the scare of what he had been through, or the fact that she had been picturing it for over a week, but she leaned in.

Their lips met, there was no hesitation from either one, no surprise, no tenseness, just softness, expectations, and an unspoken desire. The softness of their lips, soon gave way their mouths, slightly opening, then their tongues, probing into the unknown of what this was, searching for answers from one kiss.

Amy pulled away slowly and smiled, "sorry, you're in the hospital."

Jake smiled, "I'm not dead, Ames, that was fucking amazing."

Amy caressed his chin with a single finger, "are we insane, to start like this?"

Jake closed his eyes and sighed, "maybe, I just think I was crazy to not say something earlier, to not ask you out months ago."


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy and Jake are forced to start thinking about the future as Jake is about to be released from the hospital.

Chapter 3

A beeping sound was rattling her brain, Amy opened her eyes and realized she had fallen asleep next to Jake in his hospital bed, Jake was still asleep, but he was on pain killers, the beeping kept going as a nurse with a very apologetic look on her face came in to change one of the bottle on an IV. 

Amy glanced down at Jake, he was breathing peacefully, but then she noticed something, she turned her head quickly. Jake had what her overly sharing brother had called morning wood, the involuntary morning erection. She was now blushing, she could feel it, she knew she shouldn’t, but she took another glance, then she realized she couldn’t look away and her thoughts turned to how long it would be until he was healed and ready for regular activities, all of them.

Amy’s less than chaste thoughts were interrupted by Jake’s coughing, “Ames..sorry you fell asleep.” 

Amy, still blushing, looked him in the eyes, “it’s okay, I slept well, and I get to be with you.”

Jake smiled, and then as he stretched, his hand brushed lightly against his erection, which made him blush as he attempted to discreetly turn his body as to not make it obvious. Amy noticed what he was doing and let out a high-pitched giggle, “Jake, trying to hide your morning wood?” Amy was surprised by her boldness, but this was Jake, so she owed him.

“Sorry, that’s fucking embarrassing, be glad your genitals aren’t hanging out showing your arousal. My Mom and I went on vacation once, had to share a double bed, I was thirteen and this happened. One of the worst fucking days ever, she noticed and kept telling me how natural it was and how her little Jakey was growing up. It was the only time I even sort of wanted to live with my dad.”

Amy tried not to laugh, she figured the painkillers must be making him very truthful. She just nodded at him, trying not to give away her thoughts. Thankfully the doctor came in just a few seconds later.

“Mr. Peralta, I understand that the other doctors were vague in their explanations, so today we will get detailed. You will be free to leave today, you are healing nicely, it’s been four days since the surgery, however, a few things. First, you had a small portion of your stomach and quarter of one of your kidneys removed. There will be scar tissue, that could create some minor issues in the future, but for right now, you will need to follow a diet.”

Jake groaned, and Amy took his hand in hers, “thank you doctor, he will follow it.” Jake grinned at this, the diet was annoying, but Amy caring was hot.

The doctor continued, “Mr. Peralta, you also had mold in your lungs and stomach, it caused issues when you were operated on, you cannot return to your apartment, nine out of ten times it comes from there. Do you and your girlfriend have someplace you could go?”

Amy blushed, “he lives on his own, but he can stay with me, his place has always been disgusting.”

Jake’s eyes went big, “are you sure, Ames?”

“Problem, Jake?” She smiled at him, she enjoyed torturing him and being the aggressive one.

“No, of course not.” Amy was a little surprised that Jake’s reaction wasn’t nervousness but instead a huge smile on his face.

“Excellent, the diet, Mr. Peralta, is the most important part for you. Less sugar, more proteins, this will be key for your health, we will give you a list of the recommended foods.”

“What about work, how long will he need to take off before going back?” Amy got a grumpy look from Jake as she asked this, “don’t be like that, Jake, he would have told you.”

“Mr. Peralta, you will need to keep moving to a minimum, some walking every day, but nothing rigorous, so no police work. You could return to desk work, light work, no lifting, no running in two weeks. I am recommending six weeks until you return to normal police work, I looked at your hospital records, you don’t know how to take it easy.”

Amy laughed at this, Jake looked hurt, they both stuck their tongues out at each other. The doctor noticed he didn’t have their attention, so he forced a light fake cough, “so, I will get going, any other questions or concerns?”

Amy could think of one immediately, but Jake seemed oblivious, Amy felt stupid for this, but Jake was on pain killers and oblivious to how others felt about him, a lot. “Jake, no questions for the doctor, at all?”

Jake shook his head, “no, I’m good.”

Amy felt herself blush already, “Sex!” The doctor and Jake both looked at her, “sorry, that was a bit loud, doctor, when would he be healed enough for sex?” She was a very bright shade of red now.

Jake lowered his head and tried not to laugh, the doctor didn’t seem shocked by any of this.

“I think he would be fine for low key sexual activity now, just listen to your body, Mr. Peralta, if it hurts, stop. That is generally a good idea, you were shot, so nothing that will move things around too much.”

The doctor left, and Amy stood up and wanted to run away, “Ames, plans tonight? Me staying with you, asking about sex?”

“Fine, Jake, you can stay with Charles and since your hands aren’t injured, you should be fine.”

Jake realized he’d pushed too far, “Ames, I’m sorry, so sorry. Don’t punish me, even without the sex, please let me stay, I’ll be good, I swear.”

It was nearly one before Amy and Jake had left the hospital and then it took another hour for Jake to get what he needed from his newly condemned apartment, the didn’t reach Amy’s until almost three. Jake clearly looked exhausted, Amy got him set up on the couch and she suddenly worried that despite her earlier boldness, she wanted to make sure Jake was okay with how fast everything was moving.

Jake fell asleep on the couch within a few minutes, when he woke up an hour later, Amy was sitting on the end of the couch reading a book with Jake’s feet up on her. “Ames, what’s going on?”

“How are you feeling? Do you need any pain meds or a drink?”

Jake shook his head and started to think about the logistics of the evening, he swallowed a few times, “Ames, um, whe…are we…fuck it, can we sleep in the same bed, together, even if sex is off the table?”

Amy laughed, “yes, I didn’t know how to bring it up, things moved fast at the hospital, but then getting here was a little different. Jake, we told each other we loved each other, it’s crazy, I haven’t said that to a boyfriend, ever, with you and I, it’s all in reverse, love and then everything else. When you feel up to it, I’m ready.” Amy gently moved forward from her spot on the couch and slid next to him and pressed her lips against his, so they were barely touching, “your move, Peralta.”

Jake pulled her to him and they started off where they had ended the previous evening at the hospital, their mouths hungry for one another, their tongues probing, each enjoying the newness of the moment, knowing that so much of the awkwardness was gone, they knew one another so well, and now this.

“Ames,” Jake sputtered.

“Oh, sorry, Jake, am I hurting you?”

Jake winced, “just my side a little. Could we move to the bed, it’s bigger, and I might hate myself later, but I better take sex off the table tonight, besides, if I underperformed our first time together, it wouldn’t be fair to you.”

Amy rolled her eyes, “C’mon morning wood, let’s get you and your penis that thinks on its own to bed. Are you hungry, I was thinking Chinese.”

“That sounds great, eating Chinese in bed with Amy Santiago, I think I’ve masturbated to that image.”

Amy stared at him, “that, not sexy. I know guys love the thought of a woman masturbating, but honestly, you guys just look gross doing it, don’t give me that look, at Kylie’s bachelorette party she had some videos and it was not pleasant.”

“Sorry, Ames. I’ll be good. I have a question though, a serious one, when and how do we let the nosy rosies at the nine-nine know, we’ll be smiling way too much and what not, at least me.”

“I know, hiding it might not work. Can we make this work, you and I? We can argue a lot sometimes.”

“I know Ames, I just know I love you and I will do what it takes, when I was shot and didn’t know if I would live, I only thought about you, so I’m in, fuck, if you wanted me to move in, I would, and I’ve never lived with a woman but my mom, if you wanted me to shave my…”

“You want to move in?” Amy grinned at him.

“I was speaking hyperthetically.”

“Hypothetically.”

“Yeah, that, but I’m just saying…”

“Jake, you have to be here a few weeks, let’s make this a trial run, if we don’t hate each other, let’s do it. I haven’t loved anyone, truly, and I’m tired of being afraid of everything dealing with relationships.”

Jake nodded, “yeah, me too. Why does it take getting shot to make us brave?”

“I don’t know, but speaking of being brave, let’s tell Holt, I texted him that you are staying here, but that’s all I said, that you couldn’t go home, and the doctor suggested here. He was going to drop by in the morning. If we told him, get it out in the open and tell him we don’t want to make a big deal about it or have people be weird or gross…”

Jake interrupted excitedly, “then he’ll go all Holt on them and forbid them and they’ll have to be nice and normal or he’ll belittle their intellects and base human emotions.”

Amy smiled, “Exactly, and base human emotions?”

Jake laughed, “I’ve heard him tell Terry that a couple of times when he cries. So…a trial run?”

Amy nodded as she stroked his cheek with her fingers, “yep.”

“Noice. I love you, Ames.”

“Smort, toit. I love you too, babe.”

“Babe? I dig it, it beats morning wood.”


	4. chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy and Jake's first full day together at Amy's apartment.

Chapter 4

When the alarm sounded, she wasn’t sure what had happened, then she remembered that Jake was the warm body with his arms wrapped around her, feeling his warmth, his hot breath against her neck, she didn’t want to get up. She moved a little to see if she could shift him without waking him up, as she moved she could feel his hardness pressed up against her leg, immediately she felt longing as a warmth spread throughout her center.

“Jake.” She whispered loudly to try and get his attention without scaring him. She repeated his name several times before getting a reaction.

“Ames? Shit, took me a second to remember everything that had happened.”

She smiled at him, “me too.”

He looked around the room, “what time is it?”

“It’s seven, Holt said he’d stop by at ten and I have to clean, but your little morning buddy came by again.”

Jake felt confused and then her hand gently stroked his erection, “shiiit, Ames, are you trying to kill me?”

She shook her head and saw a look he had never seen in her eyes, it was lust, pure lust, and it was for him. He thought that if she looked at him that way for another few minutes he might come without being touched.

“Jake, I have an idea, it’s not the sexiest thing, but it will help us each out, and be kind of sexy. Normally, I’m reserved, worried what the button down boring guy I’m dating will think, but now, it’s you, and with you, fuck it. I want to stroke you off and you’re going to use the fingers I’ve dreamt about to get me off.” She smiled at him and he could feel a full on pulse in his cock, “any problems with that?”

Jake shook his head weakly as he gulped before replying, “no, no problem, at all.”

Amy smiled in the sultry way that turned him more than anything he had ever seen in his entire life. “One problem, I think we should be naked, you know, elephant in the room and all that.”

Jake nodded numbly as he watched his longtime friend and partner and now girlfriend begin to slowly take off her pajamas. “Fuck,” Jake whispered.

“Do you like what you see?” The sultry smile, he could close his eyes and die happy after having seen that smile. Amy moved her tan, nude, fit body to his side, her breasts lightly touching his arm, “let me help you, Jake.”

Jake gulped, again, as she moved slowly and deliberately and pulled his t-shirt over his head, and then more forcefully pulled his shorts and boxers down. “Wow, Jake, finally. I’ve been waiting to get a peek since he tried to say hi at the hospital.”

Jakes eyes went to the back of his head when she said that and he let out a faint moan. Amy took that as a clear sign and laid right next to him and took his closest hand in hers and placed it on her, “Jake, rub my pussy, now.” Jake moaned again as she said that, uninhibited Amy was going to kill him. Jake started to move in slow circles, gentle at first and gaining in firmness as he hear her spit on her hand before she started to stroke him.

The only sound in the room was their breathing as it became heavier and the occasional moan each would release as the rubbed and stroked the other. Amy was the first to become vocal, “shit, Jake, yes, FUCK!” She smiled as she yelled that and as she did Jake started to moan.

“Fuck, Ames, when you swear, it kills me.”

She smiled again, “I know, I only do that for you.”

Jake continued to rub and scooted closer and lifted his head and sucked on her nearest nipple. Amy moaned again, “fuck, Jake, yes, yes, FUCK!” Amy bucked her hips and Jake felt her convulse and as he watched her he felt himself start the last surge that led to release.

“Fuck, Ames, fuck, fuck, fuuuck.”

Amy kissed Jake as she leaned her naked torso on top of him, “I need to clean and you need to shower, remember, don’t get your stitches too wet, they said a little won’t hurt, just be careful and call if you need me, but I think I’d be too much of a distraction if I was there the entire time.”

Jake nodded again as he realized she held all the power in this relationship, “I’ll say, I’d slip and die. Ames, I feel like I’m dreaming, this can’t be real. I can’t actually be with you. You didn’t actually just jack me off, I’m dying of the gunshots and my brain is playing tricks on me.”

“Nope, you’re lucky and so am I. I need to clean, I love you.”

“Ames, I love you and don’t know how I deserve this.”

At nine fifty-five, the apartment was cleaned and Jake had showered, followed by Amy, they sat on the couch, holding hands and each nervously shifting as the waited for Holt to arrive.

“Ames, I don’t know why you’re nervous, he loves you.”

“He loves you too Jake, but I’m nervous, I’m not great revealing my private life to others, and it’s us, this is big, to all the nosy nine-nine.”

Jake sighed, “I know, but at least it will be out and over, done with. I don’t care what people say, I’m happy, I didn’t think I could be this happy, and I know I love you.”

Amy kissed him softly on the cheek, “I love you too, babe.”

Captain Holt of course arrived exactly at ten, “Detective Santiago, thank you for allowing me in your home and for taking care of Peralta.” Holt greeted Jake as he entered, “Peralta, you are looking better, but nervous, are you in pain?”

Jake swallowed and tried to speak with his now dry mouth, “no, I’m just, well, Amy and I are dating now, I told her I loved her.”

“I know, Peralta, I saw the letter you wrote her.” Jake looked confused and looked at Amy.

Amy laughed, “I forgot, Jake, sorry, babe, I was so worried about you for three days and then we got together, it’s been crazy.”

Jake laughed in response, “Captain, are you okay with this?”

Holt smile and nodded, “I fail to see how it is my business as long as my two best detectives remain my two best detectives. Terry told me a while ago that you liked her, it was not difficult to see and I knew that Santiago felt the same, but I am an old softy and see those things better than most.”

Jake tried to not laugh, “my thoughts exactly sir.”

“What did the doctor say, Peralta? When can you come back to work.”

Jake spoke quickly before Amy could, “two weeks off, I need someone to watch me, has to be Amy, and then I have to do detective work, no desk work.”

Amy pushed his head, “yeah right, the two weeks off is correct, and may I take two weeks off to take care of him sir? But before you answer, he has to do four weeks of desk work after that.”

Jake stuck his tongue out and grumbled indecipherable words to himself.

Holt shook his head at Jake, “I will approve your time off Santiago, taking care of him and making sure he doesn’t do anything Jake-ish will be important. As always, Amy, thank you for your honesty.”

Amy stuck out her tongue at Jake this time, “Thank you, sir, we could also use your help in keeping the gossip and inappropriate comments to a minimum when we return, we would like everyone to know, but when I started dating Teddy, Gina sent me several pictures of penises trying to find out his size and Hitchcock offered to send me one of his. It was terrible.”

“Thank you, Santiago, they will be dealt with and no such nonsense will happen this time. The two of you are fine with me telling them?”

“Yes, Captain, it would help a lot. You know how Charles gets with me, the last good date I had he tried to get a DNA swab of her.”

Holt dismissed himself not long after and left to enjoy his weekend with Kevin. Amy made Jake take a pain pill and his other meds before dragging him to the bedroom for a map while she got some work done since she was taking the next two weeks off.

When Jake woke up, he couldn’t help but smile, the reality of his recent luck was still hard to believe, all because he got shot, he wasn’t sure if he was happy he was shot or that Freddie Ianucci was a lousy shot up close. As he got out of bed, he stumbled a little and had to walk slow, he left the bedroom and walked out to the living room, Amy was sitting on the couch, she turned around and smiled at him and rose slowly to reveal that she was wearing only one of Jake’s t-shirts and tiny pair of black underwear.

“I hope you don’t mind, I borrowed a t-shirt.” She walked over to him and kissed him slowly and tenderly, she pulled back, “how are you feeling?”

“Better,” Jake smiled as he hugged her tightly, letting his hands slide down to her ass and pulled her tighter into his hardening cock.

“Well, someone is feeling better, but is he ready for other activities?”

Jake nodded and licked his lips, Amy shook her head at him and grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom, as soon they entered her room, now their room, sort of, Jake gently pushed her up against the wall and began kissing her neck, and then trailing down as one hand pushed aside her black underwear enough to allow his fingers contact with her folds. His other hand went under his t-shirt that she was wearing and traced lazy circles around her hardening nipples.

Amy released a soft moan as she could feel herself being turned on in ways she had never felt, she could feel air against her now drenching center as Jake’s fingers explored and then one finger pushing through. Amy exhaled loudly, Jake pulled back from his kisses to look at her face, “is this okay?”

Amy gave him the sultry, sexy smile he knew he would never be able to get enough of and Jake continued, letting a second finger enter her as used his thumb to stimulate her clit and thrusting his fingers in and out. Jake felt his erection ache in his pants as it was pressed up against Amy’s side, he was sure he had never been more erect in his life when Amy start to twitch and say his name, then he knew he had reached new levels of arousal, he felt Amy’s walls tighten around his fingers as she released, his name being the only thing she said this time.

Amy used one hand to pull Jake’s chin so he as facing her, “Jake, I need you inside of me, now. Lay down and I’ll do the heavy lifting.”

Jake smiled and then frowned, “shit, Ames, condoms?”

Amy gave him the smile that could undo him in a second, “well, no need, as soon as I broke up with Teddy, I started on the pill.”

Jake was very confused now, “after, Teddy?”

Amy blushed, “it sounds stupid, but I knew that if you and I ever, did, well did this, I would want all of you, no barriers, just you.”

Jake collapsed on the bed, pulling Amy down with him, Amy quickly undressed him and then peeled off her drenched underwear as left a glistening trail down her legs, she lifted Jake’s t-shirt over his head as she straddled him, the feeling of her wet arousal on him nearly pushed him over the edge, and she carefully moved a hand and guided him into her, they both gasped and locked eyes.

With their eyes locked, Amy began rocking her hips front and back while put his hand to the exposed parts of her sex and rubbed it gently but attentively. Her eyes, the way her eyes took him in, it was too much, and he knew he would not last, “Ames, sorry, not going to last…”

Amy grinned, “me neither, keep going.” Soon Jake felt the tension rising in his entire body, he bucked his hips upward as Amy grinded down with even more force, “Fuuck, Jake!”

That was too much for Jake as he erratically thrust upwards until he released, spilling into her, “Ames! Ames!”

A few minutes later, Jake still could not believe his look as he looked at her, laying next to him, her hair messed up, her face still flush, the smell of her on his hands, she noticed his attention and leaned her head forward and kissed him. “Ames, that was, fuck, it was incredible.”

Amy locked her intense gaze with his again, “I didn’t hurt you?”

Jake took a deep breath and shook his head, “no, not at all.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake’s nightmares begin and he tries to hide it.

Chapter 5

Knocking, no, pounding on the door, Amy heard it now, she opened her eyes and smiled as she saw Jake next her, no shirt on, just his bandages covering his wounds, she closed her eyes for a second as their activities from earlier in the day came to mind, but for right now, she needed to see who was at the door. Amy carefully got out of the bed and grabbed her robe, she was still tired from nights of staying at the hospital, she pulled her robe tighter as she realized it could be someone from work and she was only wearing Jake’s t-shirt.

Amy opened the door a crack and there was Terry’s massive frame, shit, thought Amy, there were few ways out of this being awkward and way more revealing than they would like. Amy took a deep breath and opened the door all the way, “Hey, Terry, come on in.”

“Amy, sorry, did I interrupt you in the shower?” He came in and sat in her chair.

Amy was tired, and she felt brave for whatever reason, not caring what the reaction was, “Nope, taking a nap, with Jake, after we had sex.”

“Ames! I thought I would be the bragger.” Amy turned around to see Jake wearing only his jeans.

Terry’s eyes were huge before he smiled, “congratulations, Holt did tell me about the letter, so this is not a huge surprise, but still, that’s great. Uh, to be clear, you two being together, not the sex, which I’m sure is great, I’ll stop talking now.”

Amy and Jake smiled at each other, “Jake, talk to Terry while I get dressed, she kissed him, gently on the lips, lingering for just a moment.”

After Amy had left, Terry was smiling like a madman, “Peralta, damn! You and Amy!”

Jake smiled again, “yeah, everything came out, nothing left behind, for once, being honest paid off for me.”

Terry and Jake made small talk for a little while and were joined again by Amy, now dressed in a NYPD t-shirt and sweatpants, she sat down next to Jake on the couch and casually draped a leg over his and wrapped her arm behind him. 

“Well, Jake, part of the reason I’m here is that I need you sign some paperwork, for being in the hospital, being on injury leave and to sign up for a psychological review before going back, it’s standard now in shootings like this, I’m sorry, but it’s required. Santiago, we need you to come in for a few hours on Thursday, required training for all active detectives, his status excuses him, but we have to have you there.”

Terry left soon after and Jake fell asleep on the couch as Amy made dinner, Jake awoke with a start and was sweating, he’d had a nightmare about returning to work. He’d never had that before, he had no idea where it came from, but he felt shaken, his mouth was dry.

Amy noticed something was wrong, “Jake, what’s wrong?”

Jake shook his head, “nothing, just hurting a little.”

He was thankful she gave him a pain pill, he wanted it to make him sleep without another nightmare. After dinner, he fell asleep on the couch with Amy cuddling him as they watched Fargo. He frightened Amy when his nightmare woke him up and he jumped, sweating and dry mouthed again.

“Babe, are you okay?”

Jake nodded, “yeah, I should just go to bed.”

The next two days went on like this, he was too shaken up to enjoy Amy, he felt like he was going insane. He didn’t know why this was happening, the next day was Thursday and he had two appointments and Amy had her training.

“Jake, what is going on, are you okay?” She looked worried, he didn’t want to worry her or make her think that he was off his rocker.

“Nothing, just weak, maybe I over did it at the beginning.”

Amy kissed him and then nodded sadly, “okay, remember, tomorrow doctor’s appointment then pscyh eval., I can’t take you because of the training.”

The doctor’s appointment went extremely well, everything was healing fine, the doctor was pleased with what he saw. At the psych evaluation, he sat down, and his mouth went dry, the psychologist, Dr. Embry came in, Jake had talked to him before, he was a nice guy, he worked well with the officers and genuinely tried to help them. 

They made small talk, the doctor asked the normal questions, then he asked about the incident and Jake started to shake, he was sweating, profusely, and then he started to cry. The doctor was able to calm him down, and they made several more appointments to help Jake work through this, Jake was truly thankful, for once in his life for a doctor’s appointment, he knew he needed this, but he felt so ashamed that he was reacting like this, he didn’t want anyone to find out. Dr. Embry told him he should hold off on all police work until he was able to work through some of the anxieties he was currently facing.

When he got out of the taxi and entered Amy’s apartment, she was waiting for him, smiling, “hey, babe. How was your day?”

Jake smiled back, “pretty good,” his mind raced, he didn’t want to confess his issues to her, to let her think he was weak, so an idea formed. “My injuries are still kind of rough, so I can’t do office work for a while still, have to take it easy.”

Amy frowned, “I’m sorry, Jake. I have to go soon, Charles hurt himself, he got punched in the kidneys by an old woman like a thousand times and has to see a doctor, I told him I’d take him, it won’t be long.”

Jake laughed a little, “oh Charles, how many old ladies have kicked his ass.”

“At least five, I felt bad, with no Vivian anymore and you injured, he’s alone.”

Jake was sleeping in his bed when Amy returned, he heard things being slammed down, “Ames, are you okay?”

The door flew open, “No, Jake, I’m not. Charles’ doctor, happened to be your doctor, I realized that and I told him as much. He then told me how happy he was that you were healing nicely and would be okay for work as scheduled, so, no, I’m not okay.”

“Ames, I’m sorry, I can explain.”

“Really, Jake, can you?”

Jake gulped, “Ames, the psychologist won’t clear me, I don’t want him to clear me, I’ve been having nightmares, terrible ones, I wake up anxious. I didn’t know what was going on, so I lied, I’m sorry.”

Amy sat on the bed and sighed loudly, she was frowning, but still there, “Jake, I’m not happy you lied, but I would never judge you for this.”

“I know, I know, I’m freaking, bad, Ames, bad. I’m a cop, things are gonna happen, so why am I freaking out?” As Jake said this, tears started, Amy could physically see him tense up and struggle to breathe normally.

Amy scooted next to him and rubbed his back, “Babe, it’s okay, I’m not mad, I’m not. But I’m worried, when do you see they psychologist again?”

Jake took deep breath, “day after tomorrow, but he said if I struggled to let him know, he’d see me.”

Amy continued to rub his back as he calmed down, “Jake, it’s okay, there is nothing wrong with your reaction, you were shot, no one can judge you, this has been hard, I just had no idea, and you hid it form me.”

Jake hugged her, tightly, “I know, Ames, I’m so sorry. I hate admitting this is happening, it shouldn’t be, I’ve been hurt before, nothing, why now?”

“I’m going to call your doctor and see if he can see us, the both of us, today. Is that okay?”

Jake nodded, “yeah, I’m fucked up, Ames.”

She grabbed his face with one hand, “Jake, look at me, you are dealing with something most people won’t live through, being shot point blank, by a mobster, while undercover, they don’t write articles in medical journals about this, there isn’t a documentary on it, how you react is fine, we just need to learn to cope and help you through it.”

Jake took yet another deep breath as he started to calm down, “thanks, I’m bad at facing this stuff, if they hadn’t made me go to the psychologist, I’d probably be worse, and alone.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake faces his fears with Amy.

Chapter 6

“Detective Peralta, you will need to take the anxiety medication for now, it will help you to deal with things for now while we work on the causes. Talking about your nightmares, writing them down, comparing them to what happened, also, breathing exercises, these will all help you to cope with and pinpoint the underlying fears and issues causing this. Sometimes, as I said earlier, it just takes time, with more severe cases, it takes the medication, the most important part is your honesty, because only then can you begin to work through this.”

Jake understood what the doctor was saying, but it didn’t make him feel any better about what he was facing right now. He didn’t love being on anti-anxiety medication, but he couldn’t keep this up either. He stared out the window at the parking lot. Amy noticed his distance, “Babe, we will get through this, you are not alone, remember that.” Amy gave his hand a squeeze and kissed him.

On the ride home, Jake was still distant, staring outside and wishing he wasn’t feeling like this, “Jake, talk to me, what are you thinking right now?”

Jake sighed, “that I’m fucked up and this isn’t how I wanted to start with you.”

Amy reached over and caressed his cheek with her thumb as she drove, “Babe, listen, you are dealing with something so difficult, but don’t shut me out, then we will struggle. You heard the doctor, you need to talk about this, don’t keep it in and don’t think you are broken, you are coping with a terror most couldn’t understand if they wanted.”

“I don’t get it, I was fine before Terry came over, I think the reality of going back triggered this, but why, I knew I would go back before, why now?”

“You’re out of the hospital now, you’re getting better, it’s going to be a reality, plus, you’ve got a hot girlfriend, don’t want to screw that up getting hurt.”

Jake smiled at her, “you joke, but that’s true. Thanks for being you, Charles would cry about all this and Terry would make it worse talking about his many issues like this.”

They soon arrived back at Amy’s apartment, as they walked through the door, Jake felt apprehensive, being here meant more rest, more rest meant more sleep, more sleep meant more nightmares. He felt his heart begin to race, but then he saw her face, her eyes, filled with worry and love, he had never seen that look in anyone he had dated, and this wasn’t just anyone, it was Amy, his Amy, his friend, his partner, and now so much more.

His heart now raced for a different reason as he grabbed her hand and pulled her to him and kissed her, his fears and angst now replaced by his feelings for her, his lips, more forceful than before, his tongue now an extension of his ever-growing feelings of appreciation, love, and desire for her. Amy responded in kind, her lips and tongue now more forceful as well as she felt his love as well his faith in her, her hands now exploring, one grabbing his hair, the other grabbing anywhere and everywhere. Amy had initiated the first two times they had been intimate, but this, this was all Jake, and given his current state, it meant a lot to her, she knew he was hurting inside, but that this, this he wanted, this he needed, and she knew that she did as well.

As they continued to explore with lips and tongues, they slowly made their way to the bedroom, Jake hitting his head twice, they laughed through the kiss and did not stop. Once in the bedroom they nearly knocked one another over trying to remove the other’s clothing, Jake felt no pain, only desire and love. Amy lay on her back as he covered her body with his, moving his kisses and hands downward, slowly. Amy would release a small moan or his name occasionally as he would hit the right spots, a certain spot on her neck, her nipples, her belly button, and the she felt his hot breath and kisses on her thighs, his tongue then somehow finding the exact right spot as he discovered her center, she gasped and both hands grabbed his hair, forcefully shoving face deeper as his tongue did not relent, ever circling, and then he gently but firmly entered two fingers into her, arched them and pumped them in and out, within two minutes, Amy’s body arched, her hips twitching and bucking, “shit, Jake, holy shit, babe, yes. Jaaake.”

Jake looked up, his smile was not smug like she expected, it was genuine, it was sweet, almost innocent which was remarkable considering what he had just done to her, she grabbed his hair again with one hand and pulled him to her, their mouths finding each other, she didn’t think she could more aroused, but as she tasted herself on his lips and tongue, her body trembled, she then felt Jake enter her, as if on cue.

Jake’s mouth soon made itself busy, lavishing attention on her nipples as she slowly moved in and out of her, taking his time, relishing her reactions, her movements, her breathing, her scent. Amy started to moan again, triggering Jake to do the same, neither one could tell what the other was saying or moaning as they both came together, their bodies sweating, their minds overcome with pleasure and love for the other.

After a few minutes, they turned and smiled at the other, Amy put one hand to his face, her fingers gently and lovingly moving up and down on his cheek, their eyes met, Jake knew that this is what he wanted, he had never felt this before, this was not lust, he felt lust, be mostly he felt the need to keep her with him forever. “Ames, I love you, for reals, forever.”

Amy kissed him, moving slowly, noticing the lack of tension and stress in his body, “I love you, babe, for reals, forever. Are you sure about the forever, Jake? You don’t have a long attention span.” She smiled as she said this, Jake’s hand lovingly and lightly poking her rib cage as she giggled.

“That might be true, but I’ve loved you for months, and I know that will never change.”

As they slept next to each other, their bodies intertwined, Jake’s nightmare returned, his breathing, the sweating, as he woke up startled, he called to her, “Ames, Ames!”

Amy woke up, quickly realizing what was happening, “Jake, I’m here, let’s write this down, like Dr. Embry told you to do.”

Jake nodded, “Ames, it happened again, I was being chased, they shot me, but then I saw you, I saw your face and I cried, I screamed, I fought because I didn’t want to lose you.”

A tear slowly trickled down Amy’s cheek as she found her pen and paper she kept bedside and wrote down what Jake had just said, then a though occurred to her, “Jake, are you afraid of losing me?”

She expected him to respond with a flippant or arrogant comment, but instead he reached out and pulled her to him, “yes, I never wanted to lose you, but now, this, not the sex, I mean, it’ great, fucking amazing, but having you, being with you, waking up to you, I can’t lose that Amy, so much of what I did before, I did to either impress you or forget about you, but now, I’m scared.”

“Babe, you won’t lose me.” She held him now, kissing his forehead affectionately.

“You don’t know that, it’s me, I’m so me, and our job, I think I just never had anything I was truly afraid to lose, nothing, it’s pathetic, but it’s true.”

Amy held him tighter as a wave of affection and love hit her, this was why she loved him, no one understood the true Jake, they saw the cocky cop, they heard his comments, they didn’t see this side, the side that was vulnerable and scared of losing those close to him because that had been his life.

“Babe, you won’t lose me, we will have problems, it’s you and me, but we have to be honest, we have to work through them, I don’t want to lose you, I feel this too Jake, I get it, when you feel yourself doing something, well something you, remember, I am here, I love you, don’t lose me.”

Jake sat up and turned to her, kissing her, gently, his tenderness of his feelings for her as well his genuine fear of losing her being expressed in the soft and determined way he kissed her now. They held each other for a time, each reveling in the embrace of the other.

“Jake, thank you for sharing that with me, your nightmare, I know it’s not easy for you. I understand too, we’re cops, we’re taught to be tough, to power through things, but we see messed stuff all the time while putting our life on the line.”

Jake kissed her, “I know, I think the shame crap is going away, but waking up like that sucks. My heart racing, hopefully the meds the doctor gave me will work, it will hard to go back to work.”

“Jake, you can take your time, there are things you can do.”

Jake shook his head, “no, I mean, I will work on things, for sure, but I have to face it again, that’s the only way, remember Terry, the longer he stayed away, the worse it was, plus, you’ll be out there, me being out there too, fighting for both of us, that will make me feel better.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake’s nightmares continue.

chapter 7

He was being chased again, by all of them, all of the Ianuccis and their thugs were chasing Jake, he was running and stumbling, he couldn’t get away, they were all firing their guns, bullets were flying everywhere and then he sees her, Amy, she’s nearby, she’s screaming for him, she’s pleading with him, but there’s nothing he can do, and then a wall pops up from nowhere and he’s trapped, the bullets hitting his body as he dies, watching Amy’s reaction.

Jake sat up suddenly, his mouth dry, sweating and shaking slightly, breathing heavily and fighting back the tears that wanted to emerge. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on what was real, he then felt Amy’s soft, warm hand on his bare back, he breathed deeply and instantly felt comforted.

“Babe, please tell me the nightmare, all of it, I’ll write it down again, they’ve been similar, but we need to do this.” She kissed him and then grabbed the paper and pen she had used so often as they attempted to work through Jake’s anxiety. Jake described in detail the nightmare he had experienced, the feelings he had, the way he felt when he woke up.

It had been three days since Jake was confronted by Amy and he was forced to admit what was happening to him. The pills worked for the day, he would pass the day happily, no anxiety, even when talking about work, but in his sleep, he was inundated by the nightmares and the fears that made his hear race and his body sweat.

As he lay back down, Amy rested her head on his chest and absentmindedly ran her fingers up and down his chest, he concentrated on this, the feeling of being loved, of her attention to him, this helped, for now, it took the anxiety and terror of the nightmare away for now.

Amy sighed loudly, “Jake, I have to tell you something, and I understand if you are angry.” Before Jake could react at all she spit it out, “I talked with Holt and Terry and told them what was happening to you. I should have asked or told you, but I just wanted to help.”

Jake didn’t tense up or move, “what did Holt say?”

Amy looked at him now, shifting her position on the bed, “he said he understood and that he’s seen this before. He said it is a normal reaction, he told me I could have administrative leave to help you through it, that he didn’t want you back until you felt ready, and that he is here for you, for anything. Terry cried some and said he felt terrible, Holt lectured him on his frailty of spirit.”

Jake inhaled deeply, “I’m not mad, it’s good, he’d have to know, my time is coming up to go back. I feel better during the day, but the nightmares, they suck ass, hardcore, just like now, I wake up a mess and it feels like its really happening. Freddy Krueger has nothing on my nightmares, they feel so damn real.”

Amy remained silent for a little while she laid her head back down on his chest and resumed caressing his chest, “Jake, are you happy here, with me?” She said it quietly, almost in a sad fashion, like she knew the answer was the one she didn’t want.”

Jake moved her with his hand so she was looking at him, “Ames, I am so fucking happy, there is now way I would survive this without you. I love you, I feel like I let you down, we are on trial run and I lied to you, that sucks.”

“Do you want to try to live together?” She looked away as she asked him.

“Hell yes, Ames, or course. This has been great for me, being with you. I know it’s crazy fast, but we know each other so well, I know that you have my back, I’ve known this, but everyday I’m learning how true it really is.”

Amy grinned at him, “wow, a live in boyfriend, Teddy wanted to, but he creeped me out.”

Jake shook his head at her, “I get it, we do things we think we should. I thought he made more sense for you too, so I tried to stay away, I tried to drown in my work, didn’t work, I was still miserable, and then I was miserable and shot.”

“I think we should take a trip. You have a little money because you had to move out and your landlord didn’t want you to sue.”

Jake smiled, “yeah, he gave me like five thousand back, he was really worried about me suing for black mold, I couldn’t even tell.”

“Yeah, I’ve been there, that’s terrifying and not a great comforter, but we will work on your cleaning skills.”

“I can’t fight that, as much as I’d like to, but it’s nice living somewhere where people don’t gasp when they walk in. What if instead of a trip, we stayed here, but spoiled ourselves, we can order awesome food, massages, and get a kick ass big screen and movies.”

She smiled slightly, “that sounds tempting, but don’t you want to get away from here?”

“Ames, my nightmares aren’t about here, they’d follow me, I guarantee it, plus, this way we can get a few cool things for our place.”

“Our place, I like the sound of that.”

“That is good because otherwise, I’d be out on my ass, homeless.”

“Good thing I took you in then.”

“Seriously, otherwise, I’d be at Charles’ place. I love him, but it’d feel like that Stephen King movie, Misery.”

Amy laughed, “yeah, I can see Charles as Kathy Bates. That would be horrific.”

“Seriously. Speaking of Teddy, how did he react when you told him, you know, you didn’t love him and love someone else.”

Amy could feel the anger rising, “he told me that I didn’t know where you were, that you could be dead for all I knew. I lost it, I told to fuck off or fuck you and that he bored me and left, haven’t talked or seen him since.”

“Wow, remind me not to piss you off.” He held her tightly now, his affections for her overflowing.

“Well, don’t joke or comment about you being dead and we should be fine.”

“What if I mess with your crossword puzzles.” 

Amy leaned up and kissed quickly and daintily on the nose, “I would cut your balls off.” After the threat, she repeated the nose kiss.

Jake gulped, “good to know, not terrifying at all.”

Both of them returned to sleep, Jake had one more nightmare, Amy comforted him again, as Jake fell back asleep his mind was filled with thoughts of how lucky he was, he was lucky to be alive, even if he had lived and Amy not felt the same, life would be really crappy, but as it was, he was next the only woman he had truly loved and the only one to reciprocate his love.

“Jake, wake up! Babe, please, your mom is here!” Amy was trying to shake him awake, he was barely stirring after several attempts.

Jake’s eyes opened as he heard mention of his mom, “shit, how’d she know I was here?”

“You didn’t tell her?” Amy looked panicked, an injured Jake who did not tell his mom was not the way she wanted to start getting to know her outside of the hospital.

“No, oh man, it had to have been Holt, she’s called there before trying to track me down, it’s been a while since she’s had to, dammit.”

“Wish me luck and hurry.” Amy left the room looking very nervous, it would be obvious they were sleeping together, she didn’t know why she felt so nervous, but she like to prepare for these things, have a binder or laminated paper with the key facts.

Jake was hurrying, he slipped on his sweat pants and the closest shirt, he didn’t care if he matched or not, he couldn’t leave Amy out there alone. As he staggered into the living room, his mom was seated, her arms were crossed, she looked pissed.

“Moms, have I told you how beautiful you look?” He gulped and sat down on the couch next to a very nervous looking Amy.

“Jacob Peralta, I had no idea where you were! I’m glad you’re here,” she looked at Amy and her face softened, and voice went sweet, “I’m not mad at you Amy dear, you’re a sweetheart for putting up with him and I’m thrilled you two are together,” she looked at Jake again and her look hardened, “but you, Jacob, you should have told me! I lived through hell at that hospital and now this? You’re lucky I love you.”

“Moms, I’m so sorry, I swear, I just wasn’t thinking, this has been tricky and with things with Amy starting, I didn’t want you cramping my style.”

Amy groaned and held her slumped head in one of her hands.

“Sorry, Ames, I’m really sorry mom, honest.”

Karen, Jake’s mom, stood up and went over and kissed his forehead. “I’m glad you’re taken care of, but I didn’t know, I assumed, but I didn’t know. I’ll leave you two to it, but please, keep in contact.”

After Jake’s mom left, Amy hit his arm, “way to get me in trouble, Jacob.”

“Please don’t learn from her and I’m sorry, didn’t mean to give away the sexual nature of our relationship.”

Amy stood in front of him and poked him in the chest, “if you want our relationship to remain sexual, don’t talk about it.” Jake was smiling, really big, Amy was getting angrier. “What, Jake? Why are you smiling?”

“Wellll, Ames, you did tell Terry that we had been taking a nap, after sex. So, the sexy cat is out of the sexy bag.”

Amy sat down on the couch horrified, “son of a bitch, I did say that, damn! Sorry, can’t be too mad at you then.”

“That’s okay, as long as you don’t kick me out or stop loving me, I’m okay, I am very infuriating, several teachers wrote that on my report cards, not just grade school either, middle school, high school, and a few in college, but she didn’t see those ones, although the instructor from the academy who wrote that almost cost me my first job.”


	8. chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake goes to the nine-nine to face his fears.

chapter 8

The elevator opened, Jake felt him self swallow, it hurt, his throat was dry and he was unsure if he could even talk right then. Dr. Embry had suggested Jim do a test run to the precinct to see how he felt, if going and knowing he wouldn’t be working would help ease the stress, it wasn’t. Amy place her hand on his back and helped him in.

Charles came running towards Jake looking like he might tackle him, Amy saw him, “Charles, take a clue, man, he’s stressed, this isn’t easy, give him space.”

Charles stopped in place and put his hands on his hips, “Amy, I’m his best friend, you’re just helping him, which I still don’t understand, he should be at my place.”

Amy was confused, she looked at Captain Holt and Terry who both tried to walk away quickly, “Captain! Sergeant!”

The two men turned and shook their heads, Amy understood, Holt had not told the squad, she sighed and then found her voice and strength, “Captain Holt was supposed to tell you, or Terry even, but Jake and I are dating, since his accident…”

Jake, his nerves now doing better upon hearing Amy tell everyone interrupted, “and it’s serious people, sex included.” Jake’s eyes got big as he realized what he just said, Amy pushed him gently.

“Thanks Jake, but we are happy, but we do not want nor will tolerate gross emails or comments.”

Gina stood up, “we’ll see, the stuff I sent you when you started with Teddy will seem very g-rated.”

Holt put his hand up, “I will now speak about this, I was supposed to earlier and did not, but no comments about their dating will be tolerated, Gina, Hitchcock, Charles, and Rosa, any crass comments or emails and you will be written up and docked pay. Final word.”

Charles was offended, “What about Scully?”

Holt rolled his eyes, “Scully, what just happened?”

Scully looked around the room, “I think Amy owes Jake money and Gina wants to collect it?”

Holt looked at Charles, “final word, no further discussion.”

Amy was thankful, she looked at Jake and smiled, Jake cleared his throat, “as shocking as all the other stuff was, I have to say this, I love Amy, and we are living together, my place has black mold, thanks Gina, and it just felt right, we know each other, so yeah, it’s happening.”

Charles rushed him now, crying, “I didn’t know she loved you too, it’s so heartwarming, oh man, Jake, I’m so happy, now you can make a baby!”

“Boyle!” Holt beat Amy and Jake to the punch, “consider this to be your only warning, that is unwarranted, inappropriate, not to mention creepy.”

Charles hung his head, “sorry, just excited.”

“Boyle, buddy, just be cool about it, your weird comments do not help, at all, ever.”

Jake walked around after that, his nerves still feeling a little rattled, he started to sweat more, he felt like his heart was beating faster and faster.

“Santiago, Peralta doesn’t look well.” Holt seemed worried, losing his best detective for even longer would hurt everyone.

Amy smiled sadly, “sir, may I use the evidence locker to calm him down, no one coming in for a while, he might just need to have some calm time, alone time.”

Holt nodded, “of course, just lock the door, take all the time you need. Do you think he will be okay?”

Amy looked sad, “I hope so, I’m doing all I can, but I think so, don’t give up yet, sir.”

Holt smiled, “never, I owe Peralta for trusting me without explanation, he has earned my trust and patience.”

A few minutes later, Jake was seated in the evidence room, and old storage room they also called the evidence locker, it was under lock and key from everyone but the detectives and a select few uniformed officers. “Ames, let’s just leave, I’ll be better.”

Amy smiled, “I know, I have a plan. Let’s make some good memories about the precinct, maybe that will help.”

Jake shrugged, “like what?”

Jake didn’t hear her say anything and was about to speak again when he looked up and realized she was undressing in front of him. “Amy Santiago, have you lost your mind?”

She shook her head in that sultry way that made him feel like he would implode, “no, but your mind’s about to get blown, among other things.”

“Amy!” Jake whisper shouted, “what if someone walks in?”

“I locked it, all locks, no one can, Holt knows we’re in here, I’m helping you calm down, I didn’t lie.”

Amy was only dressed in her bra and underwear and she reached both arms behind her and the bra fell to the floor as she shimmied her underwear down to the floor and stepped out of them.

Jake gulped as she walked slowly to his chair and straddled him, “I guess Jake doesn’t want to play, I think it would more enjoyable if you weren’t dressed.”

Jake felt his erection strain against his pants so hard it hurt, he groaned as Amy started to kiss him, Jake pushed her gently off of him and almost fell down as he stood up quickly and started shedding his clothes.

Amy got momentary look of seriousness on her face, “we should be quiet and quick, but for the record, I still think this will help.”

Jake got completely undressed and Amy pushed him so he was seated on the chair, she licked her fingers intensely and then rubbed herself, moistening her entry for Jake before straddling him, as she sat on him she sank down on his length and he entered her slowly as both of them exhaled sharply, Amy started moving up and down on him, Jake pulled her closer to him as he kissed and bit her nipples as her hips continued to move up and down or front and back, Jake slipped one hand down to reach her clit as she moved on him.

“How’s this for a work memory Jake?” Amy whispered to him. They both continued their movements as Jake began bucking his hips, his breathing changing, he eyes rolling in the back of his head. Amy saw he was going and began grinding more intensely until she shook a few times and then collapsed her head on his shoulder. “You just fucked me at work Jake, that’s very new for me.”

Jake could barely breathe, “yeah, me too. Holy shit, we should get dressed.” The two of them got dressed, Jake sat on the chair and Amy sat in his lap, Jake could do nothing but smile. “This worked today, but we can’t do this every time.”

“I know, but just think, you’ll smile every time I mention this.”

Jake nodded, “I’ll also get a major boner at work, but it’s not weirder than half the shit Charles, Hitchcock and Scully do.”

After talking for a little while longer and losing the we just had sex looks off their faces, they left the evidence room, said their goodbyes and left to go home.

When they arrived back home, Jake felt exhausted, “Ames, the sex was fucking great, but damn, that and stress, I’m so tired.”

“Okay, babe, let’s take the old tv in the bedroom and put on a movie to watch while we fall asleep or rest.”

Jake grabbed the old tv and quickly had it ready to go, Amy brought in Die Hard, she knew Jake would fall asleep happy, sex at work and then Die Hard in bed, he should have happy dreams for sure. Jake lasted almost half of the movie before falling asleep, Amy watched him sleep and felt lucky, the night she learned he had been shot she never thought they would have a chance to at least try to be together and here they were, things had moved fast, but they were both happy.

Jake woke up with a start a few hours later, it wasn’t a nightmare, well sort of, they were shooting at him, but he didn’t die, and Amy wasn’t in it. Amy wasn’t on the bed anymore either, Jake got up just as the door opened and Amy came in, wearing only a towel, in her hair.

“Hey there, look who’s up. Jake, I hope I don’t sound greedy, but I need your tongue, now. Jake was lying on the bed and Amy got on her knees on the bed moved so Jake was directly under her, his tongue stretched out and immediately he heard Amy begin to mutter, she was already wet too, Jake thought again about what a lucky bastard he was.

Amy started to lose patience with Jake’s tongue movements and began to grind on his face, she started turning red, then she shuddered and nearly suffocated him, when she moved off of his face it was covered in her juices, which she then slowly licked off while stroking Jake under his boxers, he did not last long.

“Sorry, babe, you better take a shower and change boxers.”

“I’m dead and this is heaven, right?” Amy only smiled at him and kissed him one more time.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake’s first day back.

chapter 9

“Jake, hurry up, I know you’re nervous, but I still have to be on time.” Amy was pulling up her skirt and buttoning her shirt as Jake sat on the bed watching her.

“This has nothing to do with nerves and everything to do with my penis and your body.” Amy tossed her pajama bottoms at his head. “Violence will not make hurry.”

“Babe, please, we need to get there on time.”

Jake sighed and stood up and slipped on his jeans, then his shoes, and tucked in his shirt he already had on. Amy shook her head in disbelief as he got ready in less than two minutes.

Amy kept one hand on his shoulder or leg the entire ride to work, Jake looked nervous, but he was talking and trying to be positive. “I’m sorry I’m nervous, it’s just paperwork for a while.”

Amy lifted his hand to her face, “listen, you’re fine. Don’t forget what happened in the evidence locker, I’ll see if we can’t get a repeat if you are getting stressed.”

Jake laughed, “shouldn’t say that, now I’ll freak out just for a precinct poke.”

Amy let go of his hand and hit him, “precinct poke, that was very Charles like.”

Jake held his hands over his heart, “that wounds me, ouch, that was brutal.”

Nobody but Charles made a huge deal of Jake coming back, Amy had tried to convince all of them, Charles included, that it wouldn’t help him. Jake sat at his desk and tried to concentrate, he had never felt so bored and nervous all at the same time. “Jake,” he looked over at Amy, sitting right next to him at her desk, he could get used to this, it used to be torture, now it was like the world reminding him how lucky he was, “I have to go out with Charles, we’re tracking some idiot killing stray dogs.”

“Wow, there’s all sorts of sickos, good old New York, never disappoints. Be careful, I’ll be here, doing paper work, and thinking of the evidence locker.”

Amy smirked, “well, be good and we’ll create other memories to make you smile.” She kissed him quickly and left with Charles who was banned from talking to Jake for the morning after asking too many questions about his sperm count. 

Jake spent most of the morning entering numbers and consolidating files, he was feeling a little anxious, then he overheard Rosa talking about a shooting and he started to get anxious, he could feel himself shaking a little, he got up and walked to the evidence locker, he was just going to catch his breath, when he looked around and remembered what he had done in there. He was now smiling and felt better, “well played Santiago, you gorgeous genius.”

Charles and Amy returned to the office just before one and Amy saw Jake smiling while working, “look who’s smiling, what’s up smiley?” 

Jake looked up at her, “let’s just say I was starting to lose it, just once, and I went into the evidence locker to escape things and then I remembered the last time I was there, and it worked, you’re a genius, in every sense, book smarts, detective work, boinking.”

Amy laughed and hit him softly, then leaned in for a quick kiss, “let’s get lunch, I’m here for a while now, so let’s go some place and pretend it’s still just us.” They both heard Charles in Holt’s office saying he wanted to go to lunch with Jake, so they ran to the elevator and closed it before Charles could see them.

He and Amy were sat on a park bench eating what Amy always called street meat, her favorite gyros. Jake had his arm around her and couldn’t stop smiling at her, he was being forced to drink more water, which he hated, but he didn’t want to disappoint Amy, so he downed it, pretending it was bad orange soda.

The afternoon started with a lot of paperwork for Jake, he tried to have a good attitude and do better than he normally did, as he finished one pile and was about to start another when Terry brought in a suspect who Jake recognized as a bouncer and drug dealer from one of the Ianucci’s clubs. As the suspect came in he pointed at Jake and told Terry he was going to take care of Jake and finish the job that Freddie didn’t. Terry and Rosa hauled him into the interrogation room, Jake could feel his heart racing again, he felt hot, the room seemed to spin, then he felt a soft hand on his.

“Jake, come on.” Amy led him into the evidence locker, helped him sit down and left, as Jake looked around, he started to calm down a little as he thought about Amy’s surprise sex therapy in there. He closed his eyes and tried to take in some deep breaths when he heard the door close. “Sorry, that was rough. Holt told me they can now charge him more since he threatened you, are you okay?”

Jake looked up at her and offered a halfhearted smile, “yeah, I mean, that triggered some stuff, seeing him, he worked pretty close with Freddie and was not known for being a nice guy, not that most drug dealers are.”

“What can I do to help?” She flashed him a sultry smile, it made him smile.

“I don’t know that having sex with me every time I panic will work, but I appreciate it.” Jake held out as his arms as Amy sat in his lap and ran her fingers through his hair as he rested his head on her and just tried to regain his calm.

They heard the door unlock and promptly saw Holt, “detectives, I normally do not appreciate work place displays of affection, but yours is a unique issue, I am glad Santiago is her for you Peralta, I am giving you both the rest of the afternoon off, this is not how we wanted you to start your first day back, but it will get better, I assure you.”

As they drove home, Jake leaned over and rested his head on Amy’s shoulder as she drove, “You’re a genius Ames, what are the probabilities of that happening?”

Amy smiled, “well, you’d have to know the exact number of people in New York, the number of Ianucci associates, the likelihood of them being arrested, but the important part is that it sucked I’m sorry you had to deal with that.”

“Aint no thang.”

“Jake.”

“Sorry, it sucked, it sucked balls, but I can do it, I swear. It’s just…I feel…”

Amy kissed the top of his head, “Jake, what is it?”

“I feel so dependent on you, I wouldn’t even be back there if you weren’t around, I’ve never been dependent on anyone, my mom did lots for me, but I took care of myself a lot. This is weird for me, it freaks me out, if you weren’t around I’d be in a straight jacket bouncing off the padded walls.”

“Jake, you’d find a way.”

“Really? I don’t know, my point is, thank you, I love you. I couldn’t do this without you, Jake out.”

When they arrived home, Jake’s mom was waiting for them, “Sorry, I wanted to talk in person, but I needed to do it sooner than later.”

“Hi, Karen, come in, luckily I forced Jake to help me clean last night.”

“I’m super domesticated moms, as long as I’m getting…” Jake stopped his sentence when he saw Amy’s eyebrows raise in a manner that suggested that finishing that sentence would have dire consequences. “supervision from Amy.”

When they entered the house and sat down, Karen seemed nervous, Jake took a deep breath already feeling fairly certain he knew what she had to say.

“Moms, what did Roger have to say? I can tell you talked to him, it’s been the same for years.”

Karen frowned, “Don’t go detective on me Jacob, but he finally returned my calls, he’s been very busy.”

Jake nodded sarcastically, “of course, his only child was shot and almost killed and, in the hospital, and then on bed rest, how could he even call or text, I mean he is the most important man in the world, to himself.”

“Jake, he is your father.”

“I know, he just happens to suck. I’m sorry, mom, what did father of the year have to say?”

“He wants to visit, he says he wants to reconnect with you.”

“Mom, I’m okay, he only uses me anyways, every time I start to think he’s changed, he does the same thing he’s always done.”

Karen changed the subject and they spoke for a while before Karen left. “Jake, go easy on your mom, I know your dad has given you complexes, but your mom is great.”

Jake sighed, “I know, she is, but she also has this thing about not hating him or at least feeling like she should. He cheated on her so fucking much, I saw it a few times, I also found lots of evidence, and he left when I was eight. Parents, right?”

Amy swallowed, “yeah, speaking of parents, mine called. They found out we are living together.”

Jake felt faint, “how? Your dad is an ex-detective, oh shit, he’s terrifying I bet, goodbye Jake, you survived a gunshot by Mr. Santiago will be your end, he’ my Hans Gruber but he’ll win.”

“Jake, come back, no Die Hard connections here. One of my brothers came by the precinct to say hi, he was nearby, and it happened to be on the exact day we made our announcement, he always takes the stairs and he got off the stairs and heard us.”

“Oh crap, when did they tell you they knew?”

“Today, while I was out in the morning, I didn’t want to tell you at work, that wouldn’t have helped.”

Jake nodded, “that’s for sure, I would have passed out. So…. when am I meeting them?”

Amy exhaled, “this weekend. They won’t stay here, they want to take us out to dinner, are you up for it?”

Jake closed his eyes, “yes, old me would have panicked and said no, but I committed, I said I’m in, and you have done everything for me, word of warning…”

“I know, your credit, debt, and Taylor Swift restraining order.”

“Yeah, oh shit, he’s like you and already know, probably has a binder, oh man, I’m screwed. We’ll just tell him I’m a virgin and my penis was shot off.”

Amy laughed slightly, “that won’t work, but way to be realistic. We just tell then the truth, he might not like it, or my mom, but at least they’ll know we were honest and didn’t try to hide anything.”

“I would like Holt to do a sweep of the restaurant so it’s not like the Godfather and he has a gun hidden in the toilet and nails me in the head while I’m eating steak, that scene has messed me up for a long time.”

 

comments people, I need feedback!!!!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet the Santiagos

chapter 10

Jake’s second and third days back at work at the precinct, even though he was only doing paperwork and data entry, went without incident or anxiety, all of nervousness was now focused on the coming dinner with Amy’s parents on Saturday. Friday evening, Jake found himself going through all of his clothes, tossing all his clothes on the bed and not finding any he thought would work for meeting Victor and Camila, Amy’s parents.

Amy made him a binder, his dad was like Amy, determined, a great detective, a stress smoker, but unlike Amy, he was judgmental and had told Amy that no man was good enough for her. Her mother was fierce and could hold her own with anyone, having raised seven boys and Amy, she was also never happy with anything Amy did, thinking she should settle down and give her grandchildren.

“What type of restaurant are we going to? If it looks like the one from the Godfather, I will run, fast, for me anyway.”

Amy walked up to him and pressed her forehead to his, “Jake, relax, you’ve been shot, this is only as bad as that.”

“Not helping.”

“Babe, we already know they will be judgmental, we just have to accept that and not make it worse.”

Jake pulled back and looked at her with his eyes wide with fear, “Ames, that’s my thing, making things worse. You’ve worked with me, you know I am good at what I do, however, impressing people, never good, ever.”

“Clean up the bed, I’ll choose something I think you look good in and that will be enough, they aren’t dating you, they won’t care.”

“Too stressed to clean.”

“Too bad, I was going to use my normal relaxing Jake technique, but the bed’s too crowded, pity.”

Jake started picking up piles, moving them to the floor and picking up his shirts to hang up, throwing his jeans at the dresser. Within ten minutes Jake had the floor and bed cleaned up, some clothes were hanging out of the dresser with the drawers closed. Jake sat on the bed and started to think about what Amy’s dad would say or do when they met. Jake closed his eyes and tried to relax, there was so much riding on this, he had never really been in love before, much less being in love in a relationship where the person loved him back, he had to get Amy’s dad to not hate him, he didn’t want Amy to have to deal with that kind of pressure.

Jake suddenly felt Amy’s hands on his back, “relax, let me give you a back rub, I don’t call it a massage because I’m not great at those, but I do want to take a class on it.”

“You would be the only non-creeper in the class.”

Amy lifted his t-shirt off him and massaged his neck and back, Jake moaned in approval as she massaged his tension areas, his mind was on just relaxing when Amy’s first soft kiss landed on the back of his neck, he didn’t feel calm anymore, but it wasn’t a bad thing. She continued to massage and softly kiss his neck and back, she pulled back for a brief minute and he didn’t feel anything until he was embraced from behind and felt Amy’s bare breasts against him, then she moved them up and down as he felt her nipples harden against him.

Amy lifted him up from behind and grinned as Jake saw she was completely naked and the pulling down his jeans and boxers. “No complaints, but not as relaxed as I was.”

Amy pushed him down on the bed and climbed on top of him, kissing his neck, jawline, and chest. Jake was too turned on and, in the moment, to even move his hands and try anything with Amy. Amy started to move her hips over his length and then sank down on, Jake moaned and slumped his shoulders as he entered her, she felt slick yet tight around him as she moved up and down on him. Jake leaned up and brought her down slightly so that his mouth could find her breast as his tongue began circling around nipples, sucking or biting every now an then, teasing them as both of their breathing began to get heavier, Jake felt close as Amy was unrelenting in her movements, up and down, up and down, Jake moaned into her breast as he couldn’t hold off anymore, the sight of him mid-orgasm put Amy over the edge.

After gaining their composure and catching their breath, Jake turned to Amy, smiling, “would we have as much sex if I wasn’t so stressed out?”

Amy shrugged, “I don’t know, does it matter? I’m sure we would, but this way, I feel like it’s doubly beneficial to you, gets you calm, gets you off.”

“Damn, Santiago, better watch those comments around Victor and Camila.”

Amy’s look became serious, “call them Mr. and Mrs. Santiago unless they tell you otherwise, I’m nervous too, but you have to know that no matter what they say, I’m in this, I love you and this, this is something special Jake.”

“I love you too, Ames, I know this is special, even though I feel stupid saying it out loud. We make sense, not on paper, but together, it just works.”

The next afternoon was filled with a lot of nervous energy, Jake got dressed at noon, spilled the orange soda he was sneaking on his shirt, then had to wash and dry it, and by four was dressed again, ready to go, at six.

“Jake, calm down, it’s not like you to be ready this early.”

“Ames, this is huge. Your dad, if he doesn’t approve, it could make life difficult, what about when…”

“When we what?”

Jake was as still as a statue, his mouth open, “um, well, what about IF someday, we get married, I don’t want him to hate me.”

Amy smiled, “you were going to say when, I like that, not if, when. Unless you do something truly terrible, I don’t see me leaving you, you’re kind, unpredictable in a good way, normally, you know how use what God gave you, and make me feel loved. I’ve never had anything even close to that.”

“Me neither, and use what God gave me, you made God party to some dirtiness,” Jake put one finger in his mouth, “Santiago’s a dirty girl.”

“Moment ruined, nice one Peralta.”

Amy and Jake arrived at the restaurant early, Victor and Camila were already there, seated and waiting as Amy predicted. Victor was a tall man, black hair, a thick moustache with a few gray hairs, dark, intense eyes, and an imposing presence about him. Camila was very proper looking, well dressed, stern looking, a good deal shorter than Victor, but also imposing.

Amy hugged her parents as Jake shook their hands, they sat down, and Victor directed his laser gaze at Jake. “So, Jake, you are living with my daughter. Is she pregnant?”

“Dad, come on, I am not pregnant.”

Jake started to stammer, “she’s, no, of course not, no, we live together, yes, but I love her, sir, she means everything to me, and not pregnant, no baby.”

Victor nodded, “of course you love her, she takes care of you, you have debt, a restraining order from a woman name Taylor Swift and a possible gay love affair with a man named Charles Boyle.”

“Dad, we work with him, he’s weird and has a strange obsession with Jake.”

“Okay, fine, when did the two of start living together, Jake only please.” Victor held up a finger to Amy to keep her quiet, she turned red as her anger grew towards her father’s behavior.

“Uh, three and half weeks now, it was just going to be, well, I uh, I got shot.”

Victor seemed surprised, “you were shot?”

“Yeah, I was undercover with the Iannucci family and three months in Freddie got suspicious, I mean I was myself, just using the ruse that I got fired and I was out to get them.”

“I knew Freddie Iannucci when I was a detective, he’s not a nice man, I heard he’s dead.”

“Yeah, me too, he shot me, three times, close range, in the stomach, I shouldn’t be alive, but then when the FBI came in and swarmed the place, he tried to take them out, so he died.”

“That was you who brought the Iannucci’s down?”

“Yes sir, but that doesn’t matter to me, a week before I was shot, I knew something bad was going to happen, I had enough information, the FBI wanted more, I was nervous, I sent out a letter to my mom to explain why I might die and to Amy telling her I loved her. I had told her, sort of, once before, but she had a boyfriend, I just didn’t want to die with that regret. I have a lot of problems, sir, as you probably know, but I love your daughter and would do anything for her.”

Victor laughed, “I’ve seen more undercover cops get married, get their wives pregnant, or go to ex-girlfriends after they are done with their work, it makes you want to act, that’s why Amy’s third oldest brother was born so soon after the second.”

Amy made a face, “eew, did not need that information.”

“Jake, my daughter is an adult, it is hard to let go, but she is an adult, she is free to make her own decisions, I just want her to be happy, and if that is you, then it is you, but it makes me happy to see she chose a man who truly loves her, not someone she thinks would make us happy, that’s who she always dated before, very boring, very safe.”

“Thanks, Dad, I love him, I was in a boring, safe relationship when I realized I loved him too, before I read the letter, this is what I want, we are good together.”

“And the women from my family know how to please their men in bed, don’t we Victor?”

“I’ll say Camila.”

Jake stared at Amy who looked like she wanted to die, “okay, well that was interesting, thanks, I think mom and dad. I was worried Jake would say something weird, so, pressure off Jake.”


	11. chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teddy wants Amy back.

chapter 11

“Your parents weren’t as bad as I thought, your dad warmed up at the end, it helps that he was a detective, helped to connect with him. Your mom was nice to me, just a lot of little comments to you.”

“Yeah, that’s how she rolls, condescension with a side of Cuban cuisine, nothing helps an insult go down like a bowl of soup. You did great though, I think that was the best that could have happened, they came in wanting to dislike you.”

“That almost made it easier, if they come in wanting to like me, my comments make that awkward real quick.”

Amy pulled into their parking and she noticed someone on their porch, “Jake, someone is waiting for us, it sort of looked like…”

“Like who Ames, Hans Gruber? Oh God, it’s happening.”

Amy hit him, “no Jake, not Hans, this is real life, it sort of looked like Teddy.”

“Great, parents and ex-boyfriends all in one night, the universe is out to get me.”

“I’m the one who should be weirded out, I let him touch me.”

“Ames, please, I don’t want to not like touching you.”

They got out of the car and walked to the door, Jake could see the tension building in each step Amy took, her expression looking angrier and angrier. “Teddy, why are you at my house?”

Teddy looked at Jake, “Peralta, could you leave so I can talk to her?”

“He’s not leaving, Teddy, we live together.”

Teddy looked dumbfounded, he blinked, and his mouth hung open, “what? We dated for like four months and you couldn’t even tell me you loved me.”

Amy closed her eyes for a second trying to reign in some of her anger, “Because I didn’t love you, ever. I love Jake, I had for a while and tried to talk myself out of it.”

Jake tried to keep away from the conversation, feeling very uncomfortable and hoping Teddy didn’t bring him into it.

“Peralta? Everything’s a joke to him, he couldn’t even stay undercover.”

“He was shot, a week after you told me he might not even be alive. When you told me you loved me I realized I loved him, I didn’t doubt it at all.”

“C’mon, you want to be a captain, you think you will with him dragging you down?”

“Teddy, no need to get personal.” Jake was starting to get angry, but he needed to let Amy be in control, he didn’t want to be that kind of boyfriend.

“He doesn’t drag me down, I happen to know he’s solved way more cases than you, he might not kiss ass like you do, and when was the last time you were asked by the FBI to go undercover and take down the mob?”

“Amy, he’s your rebound.”

“Teddy, pull your head out of your ass, he’s not my rebound, you were my distraction, we’re going inside, you need to leave, I will be reporting this to your superiors as well as mine, this is not okay, you do not harass anyone like this, you’re also lucky Jake is a decent guy and not a jealous dumbass, now get the fuck out of here before I call the uniformed officers here, now!”

Teddy turned and started to run for his car, “Jake, thank you.”

“What? I didn’t do anything, I was a normal person who let their kickass girlfriend fight her own battle.”

Amy pulled him close and kissed him, “how are you so great with things like this but so juvenile in other areas?”

“Thank you and how dare you at the same time, but I’ve seen too many jackass guys, single mom and all. Jealousy is my least favorite emotion. I used to get so mad at myself being jealous of Teddy, it was my fault for never saying anything.”

Amy kissed him while trying to unlock the door at the same time, “got it, inside Peralta, pants off, mama needs some.”

Jake laughed into their kiss, “Mama? That’s not creepy, at all.”

Amy gave him her sultry look that could make him hard just thinking about it, “so sorry, Jake, mama will just go over here and take her hot, itchy clothes off.” Amy walked a few steps and slips off her dress, letting it fall to the ground and stepping out of it, then she started to rub her nipples through her bra, “mama likes to haver nipples rubbed.” She smirks at him as she unclasped her bra, continuing to rub her nipples and making sounds or arousal. “So, Jake, ready to eat your words and fuck me.”

Jake nodded numbly and rushed to her, kissing her neck and then down to lavish attention on her breast, his hand rubbing over her underwear as he feels her getting wet. “Jake, I want you to take me from behind, one hand on my breasts, one hand on my pussy, can you handle that?” She shot him a coy smile and Jake thought he might come within seconds. Amy undid his belt and yanked his pants down, his hard cock poking up and through his boxers. Jake quickly undressed the rest of the way as Amy turned around and leaned over the couch.

Jake came up behind her as she reached around and felt for his cock as she helped him enter her, “hands, Jacob, get them busy, right now.” Jake groaned as he felt moist and tight around his cock, he pumps in and out of her as one hand caressed her nipples, his other reaching around her and rubbing and circling until he found her spot, his fingers stopping to circle slower, with slightly more pressure. Amy moaned as her arousal was driving her out of mind with her labia, clitoris, and nipples being pleasured. As Jake heard her moan and felt her body arch and shake slightly, his arousal was too much and he bucked into her and quickly spilled out into her.

“Fuck, Ames, that was not nice, I didn’t stand a chance.”

“Sorry, Babe, it’s fun, I always date such dullards like Teddy, they couldn’t handle this, you handled yourself quite well. Excuse me for a second, I have some emails to send off to Teddy’s superiors and to Holt, that asshole needs to be dealt with. Will you get the mail while I do that?”

“Sure, no problem.” Jake had to stop and breathe for a minute, he couldn’t believe Amy, she could be so prim and proper, but alone with him, she could blow his mind, more than any woman he had ever known or been with, he was never a real player, but nothing had come even close to this.

Jake put on his sweats, t-shirt and slippers and went out to the mailbox, he unlocked the box and scanned the mail as he took it out. A letter caught his attention, to Jake, hand written, he looked at the return address, it was from Canada, which meant it was from his dad.

Jake returned inside and walked into the extra bedroom where Amy was on her laptop writing her emails complaining about Teddy. “Ames, will you read this and tell me if I should read it? It’s from my dad.”

Amy gave him a quick glance and saw his anxiousness over it, “sure, no problem.” Amy opened the letter and read it quickly, Jake always marveled over her ability to speed read and retain so well. “Well, let me just tell you, he wants to visit you, but says it’s not a good time and that he’s sorry, but he would like some help with a drug smuggling allegation against him.”

“Shit, that sounds like my dad, too busy to see me, even though I almost died, but has the balls to ask for my help.”

Amy stood up and embraced him, “Jake, don’t let this upset you, he has always been like this and you have so many people who love you, this is his issue, not yours.”

Jake smiled at her, “I know you don’t believe me, but I would never make it without you, you didn’t need help with a crazy ex-boyfriend, yet you’ve pulled me through all this and without you, no way, I’d be screwed.”


	12. chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy has to go undercover and in harm's way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FEEDBACK! I need feedback, doesn't matter what it is, just let me know.

chapter 12

Jake was back at the precinct, it was boring again, but he wasn’t anxious, he was grateful for that, but he knew soon enough he would be back out on the street working cases. He was most of the way through the morning when Amy came out of Holt’s office after debriefing on a recent arrest, she looked nervous, she called Jake over. Jake didn’t like whatever was about to happen, he could tell from Amy’s face that she was unsure, which meant he really wouldn’t like it.

“Jake, we need to talk with Holt, this involves me, but I want you to be part of this, just listen for now, okay?”

Jake nodded and swallowed hard, his mind racing to try and think what he was about to be told. He and Amy both sat in Holt’s office, Holt actually looked sympathetic Jake thought, an odd look for him, but that’s what it looked like.

“Peralta, we have case that requires an undercover officer, Santiago is the most qualified, but it is a dangerous task, I will not lie, it is. I talked about it with her and she felt the three of us should discuss it, the case deals with a low-level drug smuggler, Anita Ramirez, but she gave us names that we have only now started to hear, dealing with members of the Latin Kings and their operations here in Brooklyn. Ramirez and Amy, who have similar builds and complexions would pose as sisters, getting all the information they could in a three-day period as she distributes the drug she was caught with.

Every precaution would of course be taken, but I worry, as does Amy, that this could be too much for her and for you, yet it is a unique opportunity. I myself have my doubts, but I was required to reach out to the NYPD anti-drug taskforce, and they have authorized Amy and are begging us to make it happen.”

Jake looked at Amy who couldn’t look at him at the moment, he knew Amy must be nervous, undercover was not her forte, but he knew she wanted nothing more than to prove herself in any situation. “Ames, what do you want to do, you look nervous, don’t think about me right now, what would you do if we weren’t together?”

Amy looked up at him sadly, “I don’t know, I think I would go for it, I’ve been wanting a chance, which is silly, I know that, look what happened to you, but this would be a huge opportunity, Ramirez’s route gets us into territories we wouldn’t be able to, see and record people, get footage of people we will have in our books, I doubt single Amy could have passed it up.”

Jake tried to grin, to support her like she always did with him, “you need to do what you feel is right, you’re the best detective I know, the smartest one as well, I trust your judgment, end of story.”

Amy disregarded the fact that Holt was there and kissed Jake tenderly, “thank you, I’m nervous, but it’s three days, Ramirez’s apartment is close to here, the anti-drug taskforce is there now setting it up as safehouse and base of their operations, she is an independent dealer who has been given increasingly more and more responsibility, she hates these guys, they scare her, but who says no to them?”

“Three days?” Jake asked Amy kept her hand on his face.

“Yes,” she took a deep breath, “Ramirez thinks one day will give us what we need, but they drop off three days-worth at a time and she distributes the three following days, this way, their members, who are always followed, can be watched, the drop off is done through city employees on the take, it’s how we got to Ramirez.”

Jake nodded, “I’m not saying anything, this is your decision and that’s what I’ll support.”

Amy hugged him, Holt stood up to speak with the taskforce and Amy leaned in and whispered, “I’m scared, Jake, but this is part of the job, I have to go now, it starts now, I love you.” Amy kissed him, long and intense, they only stopped when Holt cleared his throat, “here Jake, my car keys, you have a house key, I can text and maybe call at night, but during the day, I’m not allowed.”

“Be careful, I love you, and I will see you in three days.” Amy smiled back at him and was whisked away by the taskforce out the nine-nine and into her cover for the next three days.

JAKE

Jake drove home by himself, even though he and Amy had only been together a couple of months now, it felt weird to be alone, she had been with him through everything and stayed with him, he once loved his so called bachelor life, but he realized how lonely he had been and wondered what she was doing, if she was safe, how dangerous this might actually be, the Latin Kings operated on strict codes and were fanatic in their rules and had a religious fervor to them.

Jake was on the couch watching Die Hard, the one movie that could get his mind off of Amy, but even this wasn’t working, he was about to order food when he heard a knock on the door. Jake answered it and was surprised to see Captain Holt.

“Captain is everything okay?”

Captain Holt nodded, “yes, I wanted to check on you, this cannot be easy for you with what you have gone through, I would like to stay with you these next few days, if that is okay, I can sleep on the couch and we can order delivery from anyplace you want, my treat.”

“Captain, that’s not necessary.”

“I am insisting Peralta, you have sacrificed much for this job and it is time the job paid you back a little, this is nothing compared to what you and Santiago have given to your jobs.”

Jake softened and grinned, “okay, come in, I was watching Die Hard, but I have a bunch of classic crime and police movies we bought recently.”

Holt nodded, “okay, let me hear what you have.”

The two decided on Dog Day Afternoon with Al Pacino, Jake hadn’t seen it, but Amy used to watch it with her dad and told Jake it makes you look at criminals different. The captain ordered dinner from an Italian place Jake thought Holt would like, Jake was fidgety, and his mind couldn’t concentrate well on the movie.

“Thinking about Santiago, Peralta?” Holt looked directly at him and Jake felt like his eyes were mind probes reading his thoughts.

“Yes! This is stressful, I know it’s only three days, but the undercover stuff, it’s like a stakeout but your neck is in a noose, you’re just waiting and waiting for something to happen, and then it does, and you just hope you make it out okay.”

“Santiago is a good detective, she will make wise choices.”

“Yeah, I did too, I begged those agents to listen to me, but they thought they needed more, I felt so insignificant and important all at once, they would use me, put me in danger, yet getting those bastards depended on me and my connections.”

The rest of the evening continued in the occasional conversation and watching cop movies. Jake finally went to bed around eleven, but he didn’t sleep until much later. The captain couldn’t be sure, but he thought he was awakened by soft sounds of crying in the night.

AMY

Amy woke up on a mattress on the floor, three other cops were there too, all of them jammed in Ramirez’s apartment, Amy got dressed into clothing much different from her own, a member of the taskforce applied makeup to her face and eyes that she would never wear, but she had to look the part. Side by side, especially now, it would be hard for anyone to doubt that Anita Ramirez and Amy Santiago were related, somehow. The two checked their equipment, Ramirez smiled at Amy, “relax, the key to making this work is just chilling, I’ve had people with me before, they don’t give a fuck as long you are chill and just act like you belong, get rid of the product and move on.”

Their deliveries were boring, just a hand off, the agents spoke in Amy’s ear at each one, the camera’s and facial recognition software were picking up everything and a big list was being made. Amy and Anita made their way back to the house, the taskforce congratulated them on a successful day, their superiors were very happy. Everyone seemed relaxed, Amy was about to call Jake when Ramirez’s phone buzzed, she looked at the text and immediately charged the detective closest to her who was grabbing a beer, she shoved him and grabbed his gun from his holster.

“That text said they’re on to me, they know what I did. Do you fucking understand what that means?!” They don’t ask questions now, I’m dead! They did this, so I wouldn’t do anymore! Don’t even think of reaching for your guns dammit, I’ll shoot.”

Amy remained calm, “Anita, put the gun down, we can hide you, we obtained a lot of good evidence, this can still end well for you.”

“Don’t fuck with me Santiago, they knew! Some guy buying from one of the dealers I delivered to recognized you, or thought he did, but it was enough!”

One detective tried to rush Anita, she fired and the detective, a tall man, about forty or so dropped to the ground, Anita turned to Amy, “Don’t try anything, Santiago, you’ve been nice, but this is over.”

The detective who had his gun stolen threw his beer at her, Anita ducked and fired twice at him, he fell to the floor and the Amy and the other detective ducked and rushed Anita, three more shots were fired. Amy and detective Lorena Charles managed to not get hit and drew their guns and fired back, Anita fell backwards, dropping her gun.

JAKE

Jake’s day at work without Amy there and knowing she could be in danger was not pleasant. He had to walk to the evidence locker several times and think about what Amy did for him, and to him, there to help calm him down. Jake smiled at the memory, but he was also overcome with how much he loved her, so many crazy things had happened, pushing feelings out and forcing them to deal with life faster than they had, but it had worked, they were living together and happy.

Jake was nearly done with his shift and curious to see what another night with Captain Holt staying at his and Amy’s place would be like when the Captain called for him, telling him to hurry, Jake felt panicked and nearly fell down rushing to his office, he quickly entered and shut the door, sitting down.

“Peralta, Santiago is fine, two officers were shot by Ramirez, one was killed, the other in critical condition. She is at the hospital now, she is fine, but was needed there. Ramirez was also killed. The head of the taskforce said Santiago would be home soon, they were debriefing at the hospital and she then she would leave for home.”

Jake felt numb, Amy was okay, but only because two other officers had been chosen as targets instead, Jake’s mouth felt dry, he thanked the captain for the information and for his company the night before and left for the night. His mind was racing, but he had to calm himself down, she was okay. Jake made few stops on the way home, picking up flowers and dinner, it wouldn’t truly make Amy feel better about what happened, but it let her know that he cared.

Jake was surprised that she beat him home, as soon as opened the door, Amy rushed him, almost making him drop the flowers and the bag of takeout he was carrying.

“Hey, let me set this down, these are for you.”

Amy kissed him, then took the flowers. “Thank you, they’re lovely.”

“How are you? This can’t be easy, I know the food and flowers don’t change that, it’s just me trying to be nice.”

Amy smiled, “I knew you’d understand this better than anyone else. I don’t know what happened really, the other detectives let their guard down and Lasky, who rushed her first, he died, I wish I could have stopped him, I could see the panic in her eyes, she needed to be calmed down first, but talk is cheap sometimes.”

“I’m glad you’re okay, I love you, do you want to shower before we eat?”

Amy nodded, “yes, thanks.”

Amy came out twenty minutes later, her makeup removed, in her own clothes. Jake had set the table and placed the flowers in the center in a vase. “Eat dinner, then tell me what you need, this shit isn’t easy, you do what you have to.”

Amy ignored her own seat and instead sat on Jake’s lap and laid her head on his shoulder, “hold me, that’s what I want right now. When the shooting was going on, I just thought how fucked up it was, we got together because of a shooting and could lose each other because of one. I got lucky, she knew me better, so killing me would have been more difficult, I can understand why going back out is hard for you.”

Jake kissed her gently, “I was lucky, I had you to help me, I’m here too, I suck at this stuff, but I’m here.”

Amy gave a sad smile, “this does suck, but you’re pretty good at it, flowers, take out from my favorite Cuban place, that’s pretty adorable.”

Jake was about to respond, but Amy started kissing his neck, not I’m glad to see you kisses, but let’s take this to the bedroom kisses, Jake pulled back a bit, “Ames, are you sure? We can do anything you need.”

She nodded, “I’m sure, this is what I need, I need to feel you. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Amy resumed kissing his neck, Jake slowly and tenderly worked his hand between her thighs and methodically began rubbing her folds and clit over her yoga pants. Amy stood up and pulled down her yoga pants and underwear and pulled off her t-shirt, “you too, Peralta, I need to feel you, inside of me.”

Jake had already been turned on, but hearing that, from her, he was fairly certain he had never been harder in his life, Jake hurriedly removed his clothing, Amy pushed him back down on the chair and straddled him, almost instantly sinking down around his cock, Jake gasped from the pleasure, Amy smiled, then closed her eyes as she kissed up and down his neck and jawline while moving up and down on him. Jake was jelly in her hands, normally he would have had the presence of mind to do something, but he was in a fog of arousal until he worried she wouldn’t get anything from this, but then she started to moan softly and make the movements she always did when she came, this was overload for Jake as tensed up and released into her.

Later, as they watched a movie on the couch, Amy kept looking at him and smiling. “What’s up Ames, you keep looking at me funny.”

“It’s not funny, I just realized today…don’t take this the wrong way, but when you’re ready, I’m ready, take your time, but know, I’m ready.”

Jake was confused, “for what, we just had sex.”

Amy sighed and caressed his chin lightly, “I meant marriage, but don’t freak out on me.”

Jake smiled in return, “when I had to work at the precinct today, knowing you were doing what you were doing, it’s all I thought about, how much it would suck to never be married to you, I’m not saying tomorrow, but I’m good, I never thought I would be, but this has been a batshit crazy two months, and then some.”


	13. chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake's first day back in the field is exciting, but not for the normal reasons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm dying here people, let me know what you think. Feedback of any sort would be appreciated.

chapter 13

Tomorrow was it, the day he had been waiting for and fearing all at the same time, after just over two months, tomorrow was his first day back working normal cases, on the street, in the field, he didn’t care what people called it when they talked to him about it, it made him uneasy. Between Amy, Dr. Embry, and Captain Holt, he had talked about it a lot and knew he was supported and only had to do what he felt comfortable doing, but it still freaked Jake out if he thought about it too much.

The nine-nine detectives bought him a cake that looked like a stack of papers to celebrate him being done with over four weeks of paper work and data entry, he was able to smile and thank them, everyone bought his act and thought he seemed normal, except Amy, she could sense the panic in his eyes, or the little actions when he thought no one was watching, even Holt remarked to her about Jake’s resiliency.

“I have to hand it to Santiago, he seems ready.”

“I don’t know sir, I see things others don’t, he’s been my friend and partner for a long time, and now that we’re dating and living together, I see things, I sense things, even more. He wants to be ready, he does, but he doubts himself, and that wasn’t true in old Jake. Some caution is good, I’m glad for that, I can’t handle him being badly hurt again, but too much can really mess up your decision making and desire to continue.”

Holt nodded, “Do you have a problem if the two of you work together tomorrow?” Amy shook her head, trying not to grin at the thought of spending work time with him as well, and being able to help him. “In the past I would not pair a dating couple together, but I think I have seen the error of my ways, that guarantees nothing, you should be with him, you know him the best and can help him the most. You decide with Sergeant Jeffords the cases you will work the next week.”

“Thank you, sir, that would be helpful. He is still a great detective, one of the best, but he will be jumpier and less confident tomorrow, I know from what I’ve seen just at home and in talking about things.”

As they ate dinner that night, Amy smiled at him, “so, the captain wanted me to tell you away from the others, so they wouldn’t joke about it, he sent them official emails tonight telling them that if they commented on it all they would lose overtime for the rest of the year, but you and I get to work together on cases indefinitely.”

Jake grinned and shook his head, “well, at least being crazy has some benefits, I’m glad it’s you, not just because I love you, which I do, but you know me, you know how to calm me down. Terry would be nervous which would make me nervous, Charles would baby me, and Rosa would just insult me and be way too hard on me, it’s the only way she does things.”

“I know, I’m glad too. Plus, if things are slow at lunch, a quick blowjob at home could really calm you down.”

Jake spit out his food coughing and almost choking, “Santiago, warn a guy before you talk filthy at the dinner table, damn! I could have died. As nice as blow from you would be, if we have time, let’s just, as you say, boink. But only if we actually have time, I don’t want to give the captain reason to separate us on the first day.”

Amy laughed and smiled, “look at you, so mature you even know when to say no to sex.”

Jake held up a finger, “ah, ah, ah, I didn’t say no, I just said if, very different, if I’m ever too mature for sex, pull the plug or put me down, life not worth it.”

Jakes phone rang, “oh man, this is my moms, she’s been having a rough day, let me take this outside.”

Amy smiled as left, it was weird he didn’t want her to hear his conversation with his mom, but he was always protective of her, so she didn’t mind. Jake came back in ten minutes later still on the phone, “Charles, thanks for the call and everything, but I need to go, Amy’s calling me.” Jake made a motion at Amy.

“JAKE, OFF THE PHONE!”

“Yeah, she is loud, bye Charles.” Jake ended the call and smiled, “thanks, he called right as I got off with my moms.”

“How is your mom?”

“She’s good, my dad is always on her mind, which is good for no one, but she’s a fighter.”

Amy smiled and kissed him on the cheek, “I know, that’s where you get it from.”

Amy sensed a nervous energy in Jake the rest of the night, he would glance at her a lot and smile, but he was also extra fidgety and could not sit still. “Jake, use that nervous energy for something good, finish the dishes or do the taxes or something.”

“You want me to do taxes? You did mine last year because you thought I would go to jail because of my lack of ability to fill in boxes correctly.”

“Okay, not the taxes, but how about the dishes, or…”

Jake looked at her, “what, vacuum, wash the car, find a dog to wash?”

Amy frowned, “I was going to say sex, but if you’re too busy being a smartass, we can postpone.”

“Sorry, I’ll toe the line.”

Jake was sitting down on the couch about to kiss her when his phone rang, he pulled it out quickly, “damn, Ames, it’s my mom. Sorry, “Jake answered it, “Hey moms, really? I’m sorry, now, I was kind of busy, no, I can, I will, okay, bye.”

Amy sighed, “what do you have to do?”

“She needs help moving something, she slipped and hurt herself a little, I’ll go really quick and then come back and attend to you.” He kissed her sweetly and gently.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?”

“No. That will make it take longer, she likes you way too much, I’ll go move the damn dresser or whatever it was and hurry back.”

Jake left, and Amy cleaned up the apartment a bit, and then fell asleep watching a movie, when she woke up, the clock said it was three in the morning and Jake was asleep on the other end of the couch with her feet on him.

“Jake, why didn’t you wake me?!”

“Sorry, you looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to be the horny jerk who wakes up the sleeping beauty for a quick one, and I fell asleep quick. You were watching Fargo, it drew me in, and does not make me horny either, very unsexy movie.”

They both got up and moved to their bed and quickly fell asleep. When Amy woke up in the morning, Jake was amazingly already up, not dressed, but eating cereal with orange soda he had somehow snuck in the house.

“Babe, we talked about this, not on the diet, remember? I need a healthy and alive Jake, not a sick and stomach problems Jake.”

Jake gave a slight grin, “sorry, you know, stress and all that, I’ve been good lately, but today I weakened, I’ve actually had this stashed for a few weeks.”

Amy sighed and smiled, she then walked over and kissed him, “well, let’s get ready for work, things will be fine today, you’re a great detective and your partner is the best.”

“And the hottest, even though we got interrupted last night.”

“I know, I almost woke you up for a go when I got to up to use the bathroom at five, but I let you sleep.”

At the nine-nine, the morning briefing went quickly and was painless, Jake expected someone to comment and he and Amy working together, but even Gina kept her mouth shut. Their case today was looking into a guy passing fake bills at local bodegas, nothing exciting, but not terrible either. He and Amy spent the morning talking to the bodega owners, it wasn’t a bad way to spend his first morning back, going in to stores and being with Amy.

By one in the afternoon, they had spoken with all of the owners and a few neighbors to ask if they’d seen the suspect, a tall white male, mid to late forties, black hair, lazy eye. Jake kept referring to him as Lazy Eye Larry but had to stop when he referred to him as that to a witness and Amy hit him.

As the entered the car to go get lunch, Amy smiled at Jake, “sooo, home for lunch?”

Jake glanced at his watch, “okay, let’s do this.”

Amy frowned, “I thought you’d be a little more enthusiastic after what I promised.”

“Sorry, just nerves still I guess, you know I love you and would love an afternoon delight.”

“Don’t sing the song, you won’t stop singing it the rest of the day and then it will get stuck in my head.”

“I’ll be good.”

When they arrived at their apartment, Amy thought a light was on, “did you leave a light on? I swore I turned them all off.”

“I don’t know, I don’t think so. I’ll go first.”

Normally Amy would argue, but today, she thought maybe he needed this and her apartment had never been broken into, or anything, so she wasn’t worried. Jake went in first, after a minute, she called in, “Jake? What’s going on?”

“Nothing, everything’s great, come in.”

Amy walked up the steps into the apartment and gasped at what she saw, at least twenty big fat candles were lit, rose pedals were sprinkled everywhere, champagne was on ice and Jake was kneeling, holding a ring. 

“Jake, what the hell is happening?” She felt herself starting to shake, not quite believing what she was seeing.

“Ames, I love you, I love how you’ve gone outside your comfort zone to be with me, you were bold and got us living together, you’ve saved me, I love how you get cold so easy, I love your dork dance, I love how guilty you get after a shame cigarette, and love how you make me feel, every day, like I’m the luckiest guy alive. I know this is quick, but the past two and a half months have been a rush, in more ways than one, and all these things have shown me I was meant to be with you, forevs, Ames, forevs. Amy Santiago, will you marry me?”

Tears were streaming down her cheeks, she was stunned, she had mentioned it once to him, but she thought he would need time, it was fast, it was really fast, but she knew two things, she knew she loved him and she knew she wanted to be with him, forever.

“Ames, making me sweat here.” Jake looked terrified now.

“Sorry, Babe, yes I will marry you.” 

Jake stood up and brought her face to his with both his hands and kissed her. “I love you, you scared me there.”

Amy smiled, eyes still brimming with happy tears, “I love you too, I was just thinking about how crazy this has been, but I know I love you and that I want to be with you, forevs. How did you pull this off?”

“Charles, I didn’t tell him I was proposing, just that I wanted to do a romantic gesture, you know him, he loves this stuff, the challenge was not letting him pick weird ass food.”

“This ring is gorgeous Jake. Who will notice first at nine-nine, bets?”

Jake laughed, “the ring was my nana’s, I had it cleaned and sized, Charles will notice, you know him, I bet he looks every day to see if you have one, and no bets because you would pick him or Holt.”

An hour later, after a glass of champagne and Amy’s favorite hot dog stand, they entered the nine-nine. They acted normal, doing what they would normally do after gathering evidence for a case. “Santiago, why the hell are you smiling so much, you’re making my head hurt.”

“Sorry, Rosa, just a good day, you know, Jake back and all.” She then saw Rosa notice the ring and wished she had made a bet with Jake, but she would have bet on Charles or Holt.

Amy whispered Jake’s name as he was at his desk and he looked at Rosa as her eyes darted back and forth between the two of them. “Holy shit, is that…? Did you…? You two…?”

Charles, Gina, and Terry heard Rosa, she was yelling this, and as they gathered, Holt stepped out of his office. Amy nodded and took Jake’s hand, “Son of a bitch, Jake and Amy got engaged!”

Charles shrieked and nearly tackled Jake, Terry hugged Amy, Rosa slapped Jake on the back after shoving Charles off, Gina just shrugged and walked away, Holt smiled. “Congratulations, an eventful lunch I see.”

Amy kissed Jake, “yes it was Captain Holt, best, lunch, ever.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after the proposal

chapter 14

Jake woke up to the sound of Amy groaning, they had celebrated a lot the night before at Shaw’s bar for Jake and Amy’s engagement. Holt bought several rounds and even Gina bought one, making a toast to Jake and Amy, surprising them both, Charles and Terry got progressively weepier as the night went on, and Amy and Jake drank a lot. Normally, the wouldn’t have had so many drinks, but Jake planned his first day back in the field for a Friday so that if it went poorly, he would have the weekend to recover, as it was, he now had the weekend to plan his wedding and recover from a hangover.

Jake rolled over and was trying to get back to sleep, “Babe, why did you let me drink so much?”

Jake laughed and then gagged as his breath tasted terrible, “I was asking myself that same question, too many people buying drinks and we were happy, well I was anyway.”

Amy turned over and was grinning through the hazy hangover fog in her mind, “You don’t think I was happy, I kept shouting at people, Hank got annoyed at me and told me I should put up a sign announcing it, which I think I did.”

Jake nodded, “that was after you gave me a blowjob in the men’s room.”

Amy looked even more pale now, “I did what?”

“I was afraid you wouldn’t remember that, you were a strange combination of four and five drink Amy, super sexually confident, I tried to talk you out of it, honestly, I knew you’d be terrified of what you did today, but you started yelling really nasty things if I didn’t stay with you and let you.”

Amy put her hands over her head, “does anybody else know?”

“I don’t think so, they were all so drunk as well, it was nice to have good news, ya know?”

Amy sighed, “my breath tastes like the way I imagine a sewer might, time to add a little bleach to the Listerine.”

“Are you serious about that?” Jake tried to shake his head, but it hurt too much.

“Yeah, I am, kills whatever nasty bacteria that’s in there. You too poop breath, I think you might be worse. We need to get up, let me check something.” Amy slowly rolled over to her bedside table and grabbed her phone, “Yep, I texted my mom, oh good, they can’t meet today like I apparently asked them, but next week, so, we have that to look forward to.”

“That’s not so bad,” Jake said, his voice sounding wobbly, “I already told your dad, briefly, I called at one in the morning, so he was very sleepy.”

Amy sat up, “really? What did you say?”

Jake rubbed his hand on his head, “I think I told him I loved you, that I’ve known you long enough to know you are it for me and that I will spend my life living up to your standards, I don’t remember what he said, other than a vague threat about treating you well. I had my part memorized, his, not so much.”

Jake’s phone buzzed, “ah shit, it’s my mom we have to meet with today, in an hour, but at her house, so that’s not so bad.”

An hour later, Jake and Amy, feeling only a little bit better, not drunk, but with headaches and regret, knocked on the door, it flew open and Karen hugged Jake in an intense bear hug, “I’m so happy, my little Jakey is getting married, and to an actual adult woman who I like! Who would have thought?”

Jake frowned, “did you think the woman I married would be male, or a girl, or terrible?”

“You didn’t always have great taste in women, I blame it on your confidence, you talk the talk, but then you don’t think you’re good enough, which I hated, but finally, you are with the right one, and you’re getting married!” Karen released Jake and hugged Amy equally hard and emotional.

“Moms take it easy on Amy, we celebrated a lot last night and we aren’t feeling well.”

“Jakey, you’ve never handled your liquor well. Come in and let’s talk wedding!”

Jake sat down on the couch and waited for Amy, but she caught sight of several embarrassing photos of Jake and was using her phone to have her own copies. “Ames, please don’t, I hate most of these pictures.”

Amy was smiling and thinking of all the ways she could embarrass him, “no worries, just for me, babe, just for me.”

“You’re a bad liar Amy.”

Amy turned around and stuck her tongue out at Jake, “you’ll survive, these are gold.”

Jake’s mom came out of the kitchen with snacks, Amy and Jake both groaned at the sight of food, “moms, we’re seriously hung over, I had to rinse with mouthwash and bleach to get the taint out of my mouth.”

“Sorry, Jakey, I forgot. So, for a possible venue for the wedding, I first need to know when you want to do it.”

“What? “Jake asked, partially distracted, watching Amy snap more pictures of his embarrassing youth.

“When do you want to get married?”

Ay and Jake both looked at each other, they seemed confused or dazed for a second and then started to laugh, a lot. “Jake, we haven’t even talked about that yet, we went from getting engaged to celebrating and planning where and what, but we never once discussed the when.”

Jake rubbed his temples, “that’s a lot of w’s for a hungover man, but yeah, when, I’m open, tomorrow, next Thursday?”

Jake’s mom hit him softly, “Jake, this stuff takes time.”

Amy grinned at him, “we’ve rushed through everything else? When do you want to?”

Jake shrugged his shoulders, “I seriously don’t know, I don’t want to be engaged a long time, I know what I want and who I want it with.”

Amy kissed him, “you are so not the Jake I met six years ago.”

Jake nodded, pressing his forehead to hers, “thankfully, no. I’ve changed. So, have you, you didn’t stand back and just let life pass you by, we both did that, for a while.”

Amy thought for a second, “it’s the beginning of October, what about Thanksgiving Weekend, a lot of people would have it off, and it’s a bit of a rush, but not terrible. My parents said they’d help some, I have a little savings, with both us living in my place we can save more.”

“Especially with you in charge of my finances.” 

Karen stood up and looked at her large calendar, “that would be the twenty-ninth for a Saturday.”

Amy smiled at Jake as she held his hand, “Well?”

Jake nodded, “holy shit, we’re getting married the twenty-ninth of November. We can do this.”

Karen hugged him, “you have to let me, and your friends help, it’s soon, but it can be done.”

Jake looked at his phone and opened up some texts from the day before, “Charles sent me links to all the vendors he scouted out for his cancelled nups, a lot of them were good, just not the food people, at all.”

That night, Amy couldn’t stop smiling, Jake was the happiest he could remember, he had put himself out there in his younger days, only to be hurt, and he had closed himself up a lot, but taking a chance and telling Amy his true feelings had paid off in ways he couldn’t even have dreamed of. He thought back to how miserable he had been when she was with Teddy, and then when he was undercover, she had been a far-off dream then, and yet now, she was here, with him.

“Ames, you might not want to smile all the time, you’ll wrinkle.”

“I don’t care, this has been crazy, but it’s been nearly perfect Jake, I mean, we’re not, for sure, but things have worked out, I knew I wanted to marry you and you felt the same way, the odds were not on our side for a while.”

“Yeah, the universe didn’t hate on me for once, other than being shot.” Jake nodded as he said this, smiling slightly.

“Your being shot forced me to face my feelings, I knew I loved you, but then reading your letter, I knew I had to tell you.”

“Universe two, Jake zero.”

“Really? Being engaged to me is a zero?” Amy hit him, somewhat lovingly, giving him a curious look.

“Sorry, you know I don’t think that. I hope you don’t think I’m being bossy or stupid, but I already asked Holt to marry us, I knew you wouldn’t want anybody else.” Amy turned over and fell on him, holding his face with her hands, showering kisses all over face and neck, “Ames, this is hot, weird, and confusing, all at once.”

As Amy continued to kiss all over Jake’s upper body, he slid his hand gently into her pajama pants, sliding under all material until his fingers felt the familiar soft wetness, Amy sighed loudly as Jake softly and slowly drug his fingers over the entirety of her slits, eliciting another sigh or gasp, he did this several times before turning his body and in one fluid and surprising motion tugged Amy’s pajamas and underwear down to her ankles and then off completely, he laid on his side, on hand lavishing attention on her clit, the other gently inserting two fingers. Amy closed her eyes and took a deep breath, Jake pumped slowly, with determination until his concentration was interrupted.

“Faster, Jake, faster, please.” Amy panted, Jake could see small beads of sweat on her forehead and stomach, Amy had stopped kissing him, enjoying his handywork, Jake took that as an invitation to lift up her shirt, exposing her breasts, he then began to gently tongue her breasts, lazily circling around her nipples, occasionally, playfully and gently biting, Amy swallowed loudly, and her breathing changed, her eyes closed again as she began to tremble. “Oh fuck, Jake, this is soooo good, shit, oh fuck. Mama likes!” Her hip gyrated slightly she trembled harder and then collapsed back on the bed, smiling up at Jake.

Jake smiled back, “Hey there, Mama?”

Amy frowned at him, “shut it Peralta, I could call you Charles, Gina, or Terry and as long as it was sex you wouldn’t care.”

“I don’t know, those might push it, especially Charles, but this is what you called yourself.” He kissed her through again, taking more time, probing slowly, gently.

“Whatever, I could call myself daddy and you’d still eat it up.”

Jake stopped, “no, sorry, daddy, too far, dad issues, that’s boner killer.”

Amy looked down, “the pants tent you’re sporting says otherwise, daddy.”

“Shit, that was hot.” Amy pushed him, so he was on his back and slid the clothing off his lower half, then removing her shirt, she straddled him and quickly used her hand to guide him in, Jake closed his eyes, “shit, so fucking good, every time, every fucking time.”

Amy steadied herself with the palms of her hands on his chest and pushed her back repeatedly eliciting gasps and grunts from Jake the harder she did it. Within just a few minutes of this Jake started to get the look, his eyes unable to focus, his breathing getting deeper and uneven, until he thrust up into her several times “fuuuuuck, this is going, iiin, the, top, ten. Fuuuuck.”

An hour later they remained undressed, just a sheet draped over them to trap in the heat of their bodies, Jake gently ran his fingers through Amy’s hair as she nuzzled his chest. “I don’t know how, but we’re getting better, and I thought we were already good.” She began absentmindedly using her fingers to draw circles on his chest as she said this.

Jake sighed contentedly, “I know, just another reason to get married, gotta see how much better we can get at this, for science.”

“For science? Eh, I suppose so, for mankind, to improve the sex lives of the general population?” Amy looked up at him smiling.

“Exactly, see, you get me.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The weeks leading up to the funeral.

chapter 15

October had passed them by quickly, between their Halloween competition and preparing for the wedding on top of their normal work schedules, Amy and Jake were exhausted. Jake had gone a day without talking to Amy after she helped Holt win the Halloween heist, but he weakened when she started walking around their house naked, he weakened quickly.

The wedding was now only three weeks away, Jake’s mom had a friend who had a son who worked at the Bay Ridge Manor and was able to get them a three-hour window in the evening for the wedding, and at a discount, which prompted Victor, Amy’s dad to offer to pay for all of the wedding, Jake and Amy wanted a small wedding, so they kept the list at fifty people.

Charles had put up a huge fight because he wanted to bring as many Boyles as possible, but in the end was forced to scramble for a plus one. Jake didn’t invite quite a few members of his family, which was fine with him, he told Amy they never gave a crap about him or his mom, so why bother. Amy’s family was huge, so that was nearly thirty people right there. The biggest argument about the wedding was music.

“Ames, I’m telling you, we have to have a DJ, we need a straight up badass DJ. End of discussion.”

“Jacob Peralta, we will have mostly family there, family Jake, little kids, your mom, we will not have DJ Moist Man or Dr. Knob Polish, Kylie has offered, she has experience, not to mention actual taste in music.”

“Ames, I have great taste, just ask Gina.”

“You mean your friend who wears leopard print leggings most days, your friend who thought it was appropriate to hire a stripper for a kids’ party?”

Jake put up his hands in defeat, “yeah, not a great ally, okay, Kylie it is, but she has to play some nineties R and B and rap.”

Amy sighed, “It’s a good thing I love you, because we are different people.”

Jake smiled, “I know, but it’s why I love you, Ames. You aren’t some clone, you aren’t a Gina, who loves trends and fads, yet thinks she’s super original. You aren’t a Rosa who thinks she’s a badass, yet owns nothing but romantic comedies, you’re you, you don’t pretend, you’re you. I need that, I spent too long trying to be what I couldn’t, you just want me to be good, that I can handle.”

Amy cupped his face in her hands, “just when you’re about to drive me completely nuts, you always say something sweet, you’re good at this Peralta.”

Jake covered one of her hands on his face with his own hand, and gently shook his head, “no, I’m not, really not. I love you Ames, and I know you love me, I’ve never really had that, just with moms, and sort of with Charles, but his love is smothering and extremely creepy.”

Amy kissed him tenderly, “babe, are you nervous about the wedding, about getting married?”

Jake laughed, “not really, I’m nervous about being a good husband, about someday being a good dad, terrified of those things, but married, it’s to you Ames, why would I be nervous about that? Are you nervous?”

Amy sighed, “not about being married, but about the wedding, yes, you know me Jake, things going wrong always affects me, I love a well-executed plan.”

“Hannibal Smith.”

“What?” Amy looked at him like he was crazy.

“He was the head of the A-Team, at the end of the episode when they always won against their slimy foes, he would always say, I love it when a plan comes together.”

“My brothers watched that, those guys weren’t organized enough for my taste.”

Jake made a weird face and then tried his Mr. T impression, “I pity the fool who don’t like A-Team.”

“Did you get everything to the printer and my check to the seamstress for my dress?” Amy was trying to push past the awkward tv conversation, once Jake was focused on tv, he might never come back to the real world.

“Hells yeah, I am not one of those crappy fiancés, I help out, offer opinions when asked, and do my best to keep you calm. My dad was engaged a few times growing up, he was not great, in fact the opposite, cheated on all of them and never got married, I had terrible role models.”

“You’re doing great, I appreciate it. My mom is surprised by how much you help, my married brothers only complained and sat by and watched all the work get done before their weddings.”

“I guess my complexes help here, my fear of abandonment has helped me to be a helper, a pleaser, but it’s also like common courtesy and decency to help out for something that is mine as well. You would never hear someone giving your fine ass a kudos because you’re helping out with the wedding. It’s like when people compliment Terry on being a good dad with his girls, he always points out Sharon is the same, and yet they don’t compliment her.”

Amy embraced him and started to kiss him in the manner that Jake called the sex initiation kissing, “Ames, this your I want sex kissing, are you sure? We have stuff to do…”

Amy immediately shut him up with her tongue, moving around in his mouth, drawing out a contented sigh from Jake. Jake slid his hand under her clothing, so his hands were flush against her skin on her ass, “Oh, Jake, somebody wants to play.”

Jake peeked down and saw his erection poking through his boxers, “man, that was fast.”

Amy snorted, “ha! That was fast, name of your sex tape!”

Jake was both insulted and turned on, “let’s hope not.” He lifted her up and carried her to the bedroom, tossing her gently on the bed as he took off his clothes, Amy purred with approval and shed her own clothing, “Hurry up Peralta, Mama needs hers.”

Jake rolled his eyes as he jumped on the bed, he pinned her arms down with his hands as he lavished kissed from her neck down, releasing his hands as he reached her stomach, then moving downward, as he kissed the most top part of her slit, and then on clit, she tensed up, “stay there, more there, use the tongue, your talented tongue.”

Jake smiled and began to slowly swirl his tongue, he could smell her, the smell he longed to smell, it was her and only her, he could fell her wetness on his chin, he lifted his face and then softly entered three fingers in her, Amy’s eyes went wide, “damn, babe, that’s a bold move, that’s three, right? But fuck, it’s good.”

Jake tried to think unsexy thoughts as the combination of her swearing and her scent were enough to make him come right there without being touched. He thought of every Boyle story he’d ever heard, of the Vulture, but that wasn’t pleasant to think of ever, then as he was lost in his mind, trying to not be turned on, Amy rocked her hips up several times, “fuckity, fuck, fuck, Jake, that is extra good today.”

As Amy’s body relaxed, she grabbed Jake’s hair with one hand and pulled his head to hers and kissed him, “now come in and play.” Jake gulped as she winked at him. Jake positioned himself over her and slowly entered, Amy rolled her eyes, but in the sexy way that made him come undone, today, there would be no slow love making, no tenderness, he was way too turned on, Amy must have sensed this as well, as Jim began hard deliberated and successively rapid thrusts, Amy responded to each with a chorus of “fuck me Jake, fuck me!” It only took a few minutes of this before Jake’s own body became tense and then released, he closed eyes and then collapsed onto Amy.

“You were trying kill me, right? Saying fuck me, that does things to me.”

Amy smiled, “mama knows, mama knows, I do that when I want to see you go primal.”

Three days later, they were working a case together, tailing a suspected child predator, Amy kept looking at Jake, it unnerved him, so he finally responded. “Ames, what’s going on?”

Amy blushed, not realizing she’d been so obvious, “do you want kids?”

Jake took a deliberate breath before answering, “yes, but that decision is yours, I’m ready whenever, you know me, happy to be along for the ride.”

Amy chuckled, “I don’t know, I know I eventually do, you know, someday, but I have plans, yet I don’t’ want to wait too long. It’s tricky Jake, I have all I’ve wanted, someone to love, someone I’m a partner in life with, my career is going well, yet now I have to make decisions, it’s not easy.”

“I know, but don’t let people rush you, I’m easy, you don’t yell at me, you have sex with me, I’m perfectly happy.”

“Kids would change that.” She stared at him looking for a response.

“Yes, but I’d be so busy that I wouldn’t miss the sex as much. I’m not my dad, I’m evolved.”

Amy rolled her eyes, “this from the man who tried to tell me that fruit rollups were all the fruit a grown man needed.”

“Again, evolved, past the primitive fruits of man and to the future of fruit technology.”

“Jake, there’s our guy, if he goes near any school or family residence, we can pick him up. We have to wait until then, for a pervert living in a group home, he has a good lawyer.”

They tailed their suspect for another hour, only to have him buy coffee and return to his group home, Holt told them to return to the precinct. As Amy and Jake exited the elevator to the detective’s bullpen, Jake saw Teddy, before Amy did. He elbowed her gently and pointed to him, she swore under her breath.

Holt came out, “Peralta, you are being evaluated and maybe investigated by Lieutenant Wells, he is in Internal Affairs now, he said he received complaints, which is odd, I normally receive them as well.”

Amy and Jake looked at each other, “Sir, can we meet with you, right now, about this.” Amy did not want to look at Teddy, she would lose it.

Teddy objected, “I don’t think that’s necessary, I should be involved.”

“Lieutenant, I may see who I want, you can sit and wait, thank you.”

Holt motioned towards his office, Jake was beyond annoyed and depressed, internal affairs, leave it to him to have an enemy there, that could really screw him over. Amy took his hand in hers, “Sir, Teddy should not be investigating Jake, I doubt there are real complaints, he and I dated, for three months, it ended badly when I broke up with him, he has tried to get me back several times, including coming to my house and confronting me.”

Holt picked up the phone and called the commissioner’s office and pointed to the door for Amy and Jake to leave. Ten minutes later, Holt came out of his office, Teddy was berating Jake, Holt approached Teddy rapidly, “Lieutenant Wells, you need to report to the commissioner’s office, the only complaints against Peralta were filed by you, your superiors are going to act promptly so they don’t have to face any lawsuits by Peralta through the union, harassment of officers by internal affairs can be a big news item. You are dismissed, and Wells,” Teddy turned to face him, “if I ever hear of you harassing my people, my detectives, you will have more than the commissioner’s office to deal with. Goodbye.”

Jake relaxed and smiled, “Cap, no need to buy anything, that’s our wedding gift right there.”

Amy nodded, “thank you sir, that was great.”

“I did it because it was the right thing to do, petty personal issues are not cause to threaten careers. Back to work people.”

Ten days later, it was Friday night, eight days, really only seven days, a week until the wedding, Amy was going through her check list while Jake was going through the RSVP’s and gifts that they had already received. “Ames, who is Diego Herrero and why did he send us a big ol check?”

“He was my dad’s best friend on the force, he loved me, he was always so nice, he retired early, moved to Florida and opened a security firm and made a fortune. That’s so nice.”

“I’ll say, are you sure you don’t want to on a lavish honeymoon? We totally could now.”

She shook her head, “no, we missed a lot of work with your injury, I want to save it for the summer when the weather is nicer, and we’ll want out of New York.”

“Copy that, everyone thinks the snow is terrible, it’s cold, but it’s nothing compared to the summer stench and sweat that is New York, the smell of crime, it covers the city like a blanket.”

“Ugh,” Jake slumped, Amy saw him holding a letter, he did not look happy about it.

“From your dad?”

“Yep,” he opened it, read some, and the tossed his head back, “man, that guy never changes. I truly didn’t want him there, but he’s my dad, there’s some things you just do, but he has a vacation planned with a stewardess, so he’s decided he can’t make it.”

“I’m sorry, Jake, I know that while you have your issues, you wanted him there, deep down maybe?”

Jake blinked slowly, trying to control his emotions, “yeah, well, let’s be honest, I’ve always loved my dad and he barely acknowledged my existence, but this is our wedding, you’re all I need, everything else is superfluids.”

“Superfluous?”

“Yeah, that too. Did you notice both Scully and Hitchcock are bringing plus ones, should we be worried? Should we make sure they’re not prostitutes before we let them in?”

“I’ll email Holt and let him have that awkward conversation. At Captain McGinley’s retirement party, their dates were both definitely prostitutes, and both those idiots were married at the time.”

“Oh yeah, they’re beyond terrifying. Are you sure you don’t want a bachelorette party?”

“Yes, you’re not having a bachelor party.”

“I know, but think about it, Charles, Terry, and Holt, it would either be a full-on nightmare or the boringest party ever.”

Amy walked over and sat on his lap, “you don’t need strippers? Any of the normal stuff?”

“Never understood that, honestly. A person is about to get married and puts themselves in the worst possible situation, drunk and around half or fully naked people. I’ll somehow survive, plus I find strippers to be sad, always a depressing back story. I busted way too many fights at strip clubs my first three years on the force as a beat cop. It’s also how I knew Scully and Hitchcock before I came to the nine-nine.”

“My brothers all think we will get divorced in the first two years, they’re making bets, my dad tazed one of them, I can’t remember which one, they’re pretty much the same person most of the time.”

“Yeah, Gina’s made a betting pool, I don’t know, I don’t worry. I know I won’t go anywhere, I get the feeling you won’t, I mean, you spent our first weeks as a couple caring for cranky gunshot victim.”

“Very true, my brother Tommy told me about the bet, he’s single, so I told him to go fuck himself since no woman would.”

“Daaaamn, that’s some serious shade, Santiago.”

The week of the weeding began to speed up and on Friday, everyone started coming into Brooklyn for the wedding, staying at The Avenue Plaza. Amy and Jake rejected tradition and elected to spend the night before the wedding together since the rest of their relationship had been unconventional, why bow to convention now. Charles was upset he didn’t get to stay with Jake and Amy’s mom thought that Amy should stay with them, but Amy and Jake both stood their ground.

“Fifty people didn’t sound like a lot at first, but maybe it’s too many.” Jake was laying on the bed, an icepack on his head from a headbutt courtesy of one of Amy’s brothers.

“I know, how’s your head babe, my sister in law Olivia kneed Davy in the nuts after he did that to you.”

“Noice, but it’s better, my head. How are you not crazy muscular and ten feet tall like your clone brothers?”

Amy laughed as she laid down on the bed next to him, “luck and my mother’s prayers, honestly, I think it was either one or both of those. My head is like half the size of their heads, it’s crazy.”

“My stomach has been crazy, all these people, relatives, my mom trying not to cry any time someone asks about my dad.”

“Yeah, mine too, wedding stress, have you thrown up too?”

“No, my distress has all come at the other end, and not pleasant, sorry if that’s gross.”

“I work with Charles, Hitchcock, Scully, and you, that’s actually very mild for you.”

“I matched your brother’s bets, two hundred bucks that we’d make past two years, they took it, so if you start to get really angry with me, just remember, in two years we’ll make over two thousand dollars, some of your cousins picked dates too. One of them, Larry or Lonny, he only gives us a month.”

“It’s Lenny, short for Leonel, and he’s gross, he’s my second cousin and used to remind me of that all the time as he asked me out. Disgusting.”

“That’s Boyle level disturbing.”

“I know, it’s insanely bad, but that’s Lenny. Want to have some weird fun?”

“That didn’t sound sexual as you said it, but sure, why the hell not.”

“My cousin Izzy gave me a four pack of pregnancy tests, she said she knows how to rig it so it says you’re pregnant in case you got cold feet.”

“Unnecessary, but respect for her game.”

“She’s been married three times, all creeps. You do one, I do one, sort of test them out.”

“Santiago, that is weird and a little nerdy,” Amy started to look crestfallen, “but I love it, let’s do it.”

Amy smiled and kissed him as she got up and found the pregnancy tests. “I sort of want to test out her plan, to see if you can make it show your pregnant, can you imagine what Charles would do?”

“He would ovulate, right there, that would push him over the edge and he would grow ovaries.”

Jake went first, he entered the bathroom, “let’s see, give it a minute…nope not pregnant, damn, I wanted to be Arnold Schwarzenegger in Twins.”

“No, smarty, in Twins Danny Devito was his twin, in Junior he helped get Arnold pregnant.”

“Oh yeah, dammit, I failed at an Arnold reference. Bad Jake.”

Amy went next, okay, I wonder if the colors are different for male or female urine, okay, come in, it should show in a second…Here take it, but the top.”

“Ames, what did you do, this says your pregnant, how’d you do it so fast?” Amy went pale as she continued sitting on the toilet, “Ames? You don’t look well…wait, Ames, are you fucking pregnant?”

Amy gulped, “according to that, yes. Let’s go to the drugstore next door and get like five different types.”

Jake nodded, they used the stairs to avoid family members and a side exit from the hotel, they quickly returned to their room as Amy tried each pregnancy test. One by one they each confirmed the same thing, Amy was pregnant.

“Jake, how? I used the pill, my last period was light, but that happens on the pill sometimes.”

“Are you okay? With this? Having a Peralta demon baby inside you?

Amy laughed and stood up, pulled up her panties and kissed him, “I’m terrified, you?”

“I don’t know, I feel okay, it’s you, I told you, anything with you is cool beans Ames, cool beans. We will not tell Charles until the child is at least twenty, to save everyone from the need for therapy.”

“This is crazy Jake, I thought we’d get time to enjoy being married, being together. I’m not sad, it’s just not at all what I was expecting.”

Jake sat on the bed and pulled her down, so she was seated on his lap, “Ames, it’s crazy, it is, for sures, but like we’ve said, this has been crazy from the beginning, universe made this happen, well played, universe, well played.”

“I don’t think it was the universe as much as it was your semen.”

“My father was a boat captain.”

Amy squinted, “what?”

Jake chuckled, “it’s a bad joke from sex ed, we had to quiz each other on terms, one would say the word, the other would give the meaning, I said semen and Scotty Horowitz said, my father is a sea captain, how’d you know. I laughed for like an hour.”

Amy laughed a little as she shook her head, “you are taking this better than I imagined.”

“Ames, I love you, nothing will change that. What kind of prick would I be to ask you to marry me and freak out about a baby, you have sex and things happen, another fact from sex ed, thank you Mrs. Palmetto.”

“At least I won’t have a baby bump in the pictures.” Amy started to move her hands around her stomach, imagining what she would look like.

“Boyle once informed me that pregnant women should have sex, it’s good for things, so there’s that, even though at the time I think I slapped him.”

“Good, I feel like slapping him now, but I’ve read the same, it’s after the baby’s born that things change.”

“Well, you can’t say this relationship has been boring.”

“No, you can’t.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s the wedding day.

chapter 16

The sound of the toilet flushing woke him up, he blinked his eyes several times and then it hit him, he was getting married, today, and his mind tried to remember something else, oh yeah, Amy was pregnant, Jake bolted out of the bed. “Ames, are you okay, it took me a second to remember everything, wedding, baby, holy shit.”

Amy was rinsing with mouthwash, she held up a finger for him to wait as she finished, “Are you okay? Starting to freak out?”

Jake took a deep breath, “not really, just a lot to remember first thing in the morning, plus, never been a morning person.”

“Believe me, I know.” She pulled his t-shirt and him to her, “do you mind kissing a soon to be fat pregnant woman who just threw up?”

Jake kissed her, not his normal morning peck, but a lingering soft, tender kiss, trying to express his deepest feelings for what was happening, not his outward fear. “Does that answer your question?” he asked as the pulled back. “You know I love you, this is all new, a little bit freaky.”

“I know, but it’s not exactly in our plans, is it?” Amy said as she left the bathroom and headed to the bed and sat down. She looked around their hotel room and sighed.

Jake could tell she was probably more worried about his reactions than anything, he tried to look confident, deep down he really was excited, but today was a stressful day that would require a lot of smiling and pretending Amy wasn’t pregnant, Jake sat next to her on the bed and put his arm around her, “you’re the one with the life plans, laminated and posted in the apartment. My main life goal lately has been to not be like Roger, so being supportive, no matter what happens, sticking around for my family, all family, including unexpected new members, that’s my goal.”

Amy smiled at him, “Do you think pre-gunshot victim Jake would have handled this so well?”

Jake thought for a second and then shook his head slowly, “no fucking way, he would have freaked, but I hope in the end he would have been decent, the problem is, that guy is gone, new and improved Jake is here, and he’s sticking around, and not just for the sex, well some for the sex, I mean the sex is a big part of it.”

Amy elbowed him, and he fell back on the bed feigning injury, “you’re so noble, no sorry, you’re so horny,” Amy laughed as she said it, enjoying this moment of just the two of them on this soon to be hectic day.

Jake reached out and took her hand, “you know what the toughest part of today will be, right?”

“You not blabbing to everyone that I’m pregnant?” Amy then rolled her eyes at herself, “and me not freaking out and shouting everything I say making it obvious that I’m hiding something?”

Jake laughed and pulled her down, so she was laying her head on his chest, he ran his fingers through her hair slowly as he spoke, “I was referring to me, but the part about you is so true. We’ll manage it, people have to give us slack about nerves, gettin hitched today and alls that.”

“That’s true, I’ll just say I’m nervous about my virginal wedding night.” Jake was quiet as he thought of a retort, Amy the elbowed him again, “not a single comment about my virginal state, my honor is on the line Peralta and all you can do is be quiet.”

“If that wasn’t you, then who was the hot Cuban chick I was in bed with all those times? I really should get her number.”

Amy acted quickly, using her fingers to tickle his ribs and sides, Jake started to giggle, then shout, “Ames stop, you know I start freaking out, when, when tickled.” Amy stopped as Jake caught his breath.

“I’m going to have to be a desk jockey soon, that’s not great, but I need to find positives, I don’t want to dislike the baby.” Amy nestled her head on Jake’s chest again.

“I know, no disliking the baby until it’s a teenager, that’s the rule.”

Amy pounded his chest once, “seriously though, changes will have to happen, we can’t stay at our current place.”

Jake groaned, “ugh, you’re right, we can trick my mom and take her house.”

“Jake, your mom is the best, she is so kind and loves me more than you, I think.”

Jake nodded, “no, that’s totes true, I’m chopped liver, and when we eventually, notice I said eventually, when we eventually tell her you’re pregnant, I will barely exist in her kooky world.”

“You were right about Charles last night, he can never know.”

“I have a plan. We tell Holt and Terry first and they will prepare Charles with repeated warnings about behavior and boundaries, he’ll still say some weird shit, for sures, but it will be way less than it would have been, and we’ll forward all emails and texts to Holt and Terry, so they can yell at him when he sends you advice on your lady parts and me advice on getting it on with a preggers.”

“Sentiment, very nice, words, less nice.” They lay silently for a few minutes, taking in the changes that would soon begin, on a day that already represented a major transition, this was a lot to take in.

Within the next hour, different people began texting, calling, or knocking on the door, reminding them of the hair dresser, getting dressed, getting the rings, et cetera. They finally relented and got dressed for the morning and prepared for the onslaught of congratulations, weird comments, advice, and whatever else their weird family and friends might say.

Jake stood in front of the door, “are you ready for this? Once we’re out, they will own us for the day, you will have your hair done all nice, I’ll be subjected to Charles, and you have to control your temper.”

Amy backhanded his stomach, “my temper?”

“Yes, your brothers may have expanded the bet to random people in the hotel, according to a text from Charles.”

“I will kill those bastards, I have so much dirt on them, they will pay.” Amy was about to charge out the door.

Jake pulled her back, “Ames, just remember, it would suck to be married and have you in jail and deliver our bundle of poop and smiles in the big house.”

Amy gave him a small grin, “point taken, but I will verbally assault those dumbasses until they cry or beg for mercy.”

“My money is on a combo of both.”

Amy kissed him quickly, “smart bet. Ready?”

Jake nodded, and Amy opened the door.

Amy soon found herself in her parent’s hotel room with her cousin Rachel fixing her hair, Amy was glad Rachel was a nervous talker and almost didn’t stop talking enough to breathe so she didn’t have to talk much and could then avoid spilling the beans about being pregnant. Her aunts and brothers would stop by every so often, when Amy told her mom about the bet and bringing in strangers to the bet and posting signs, Amy’s mom went full angry mama and screamed at them, everything was taken down, all seven brothers were soon sitting on the beds as their mom and dad lectured them on proper wedding etiquette and how Jake was way more helpful and vested in their relationship than they were in their own. Amy almost felt sorry them, almost, and only one them cried, but that was when Victor slapped him for making an inappropriate comment about Jake and Amy.

Jake was in the lobby with Charles, Captain Holt, and Kevin, as soon as Charles saw Jake he began the awkwardness. “So, Jakey, did you and Amy make a baby last night? What positions did you use in your last night as an unmarried couple? Who orgasmed first?”

Jake was starting to lose his mind, so he sent Charles to find him a pack of bubble gum, Jake took Holt and Kevin aside, “Captain, Kev, I appreciate you both being here so much, but I need a favor, Charles is driving me nuts, his comments are creepy, and I need to stay calm. Can you please keep him either appropriate or away from me?”

Kevin placed a hand on the Captain, “Of course Jacob, I was doing my best to ignore him, but he is a terrifyingly strangely sexual individual.”

“Well said Kev, well said.” Jake took a deep breath, feeling better now. Kevin and the Captain kept Charles under control as everyone else started to gather as it turned to the afternoon. Terry and his twins kept Jake’s mind off of the stress as they ran around yelling and singing. The hour of the wedding was approaching as Jake’s mom came up to him.

“Jakey, I’m sorry your dad’s not here.” She took a deep breath trying to control her emotions, Jake hugged her and kissed her on the cheek.

“S’all right moms, you’re here, you’re my parents, both of them, you did everything. You kept us afloat, you had to deal with me and my moods, you’re here now, that’s all I need, honest moms, you’re the best.”

Karen started to cry and hug him tighter and tighter, “Moms, your makeup, it will be a nightmare, keep it together.”

Karen pulled back and smiled at him, “thanks, Jakey, you’re a good man, Amy’s a lucky girl, but you treat her nice, always.”

Jake smiled, “of course moms, of course.”

Amy was now in her wedding gown, looking at herself in the mirror, her mom behind her, starting to get emotional. “Mija, you look so beautiful, that Jake is so lucky, you two will have beautiful children, olive skinned, dark haired, I can’t wait.” Amy started to cry, happy Jake had told her she could blame all emotions and nervousness on the wedding itself. “What’s wrong, don’t cry too much, the mascara, it will run.”

Amy smiled at her mom, “thanks, mom, I know. I’m just happy, that’s all. It’s happened so quickly, but I’m so happy.” 

The day had started off so good for Jake, being with Amy, talking about the baby, then it drug on with Charles and him being Charles, but now it seemed to have fast forwarded to the wedding itself, everyone was seated, and Holt came out to the lobby to retrieve him, “Peralta, where is your father?”

“Um, well, not here, he decided I wasn’t important enough, again.”

Holt put his hand on Jake’s shoulder, “I am truly sorry, you know Kevin and I are here for you.”

Jake nodded, “you guys are more parental than my dad ever was, thanks.”

Jake was ushered into to the reception hall and wedding, everyone was there, Amy’s brothers, all with their heads down behaving as all the women in Amy’s family stared them down, daring them with their icy glares to misbehave again and face the potential consequences. Jake stood at the front, nerves filling his body, he looked at his mom, Kevin was sitting with her, filling in for his dad, Jake was glad, he liked Kevin and felt more affection for him than he did for Roger, or as his nana used to refer to him, “the flying sperm donor.” Jake felt like he might be sick, then he heard the music, and then he saw her.

Amy, her arm wrapped in Victor’s, she was a vision of beauty, her dress, her makeup, her hair, it was all beautiful and overwhelming for Jake, but it was her eyes, her eyes were all he was locked in on now, they shone, they showed her love, for him, for them, for their family that was about to form. His nerves seemed to vanish as he could now only think of her, think of what was to come, as long as she was there, how bad could it be? Amy reached the front, Victor went to shake Jake’s hand, and then hugged him instead, whispering as he did, “always remember Jake, happy wife, happy life.” Victor smiled, and Jake felt relaxed, he had expected Amy’s dad to threaten him, but this was better, and helped him relax a little more.

Holt cleared his throat, “We are gathered today for the joining in the union of marriage of these two individuals, Jacob Peralta and Amy Santiago. A couple or a pair is the sum amount of the people in it, each brings their own strengths, their own weaknesses, it is learning to capitalize on the strengths of your partner, not the concentrating on the weaknesses, that allows the great moments, the happy times, to outnumber the bad ones. When I look at Amy and Jake, as a couple, I see less of their flaws and more of their strengths, the ability to lift the other up in times of need, the love for the other to put their needs aside for the needs of the other. Pardon a cruel pun, but this relationship, when it transitioned from friendship and partners at work, to a romantic relationship, started with a bang.” Jake groaned a little as he laughed, Amy smiled, the audience laughed, Gina laughed really loud, “but from the beginning, the two of you have set aside your differences, not your problems with the other, but your differences as people and have focused on your strengths and have found happiness, that is what makes a life worth living, remember this as you continue your journey together and you will have many more years of happiness, no matter what happens or what problems arise. Jake and then Amy will now share their vows.”

Jake took a deep breath and took Amy’s hands in his, “Ames, this has been a crazy journey, to someone who doesn’t know us, our story, our friendship, it seems fast, but for me, it’s too slow. My only wish is that I could go back in time and kick us in the butt, so we could have had more time together, romantic styles. When we first got together I was so scared I wasn’t good enough for you, I still feel like that at times, but what always gets me through and what got me through then is your love for me, how it feels different from anything I’ve ever known or could have hoped for. You are big into goals and plans, you post them like a crazy person, an adorable crazy person, but starting from now, I want to post my goal, my life plan, it is simple, one sentence, three word, make Amy happy, if I do that, then life will be pretty damn awesome. I love you Ames.”

Amy wiped a few tears away with one hand and then again held both his hands in hers, “Jake, Babe, I’ve never been happier that someone was shot in my life.” The audience laughed, Jake’s mom wiped away tears, “it forced our hands, we had to admit our true feelings, it made us be brave. We were both great detectives who showed valor everyday in our work, yet we hid in our personal lives, but when I got together with you, that changed, and everything just got easier, we weren’t afraid of love and what it brought, no one else could have done that for me, no one. You sometimes give off this air that you are sloppy and don’t care about a lot, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. You care, you care about so many people, you just don’t advertise it like you do your policework, instead you are quietly kind, and those are the actions that mean the most, that help me the most, that show me I am truly loved. Life will only get crazier from here, and that’s saying something for how we started, but with you, I look forward to it. I love you.”

Jake had to turn his head and wipe away tears with his sleeve, Holt looked at each of them, “Jake Peralta, do you take Amy Santiago as your lawfully wedded wife, to love and support for all your days?”

Jake smiled and took in Amy’s eyes yet again, “I do.”

“Do you, Amy Santiago, take Jake Peralta as your lawfully wedded husband, to love and support for all your days?”

“I do.” Her eyes brimmed with tears but those were obscured by the smile on her face.

“I now pronounce you, husband and wife, you may kiss, well, each other.”

The both rushed to kiss, the lips hitting at first, then softening into a long passionate kiss as they opened their eyes and smile and then laughed and finally pulling away as they heard the shouts of congratulations and the applause.

The reception and dinner were a blur, people approaching, speaking, congratulating, neither Jake nor Amy wanted to release the hand of the other, seeming to absorb strength to continue the long day, always exchanging glances and smiles, reminding the other that they were in this together, for them, for the baby, forever.


	17. chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy and Jake decide who to tell about Amy's pregnancy

chapter 17

It wasn’t much of a honeymoon, but Amy had insisted she didn’t want to waste days right then and now that they knew she was pregnant, they would need the money to get a better place. Jake was passed out in their hotel suite, Amy bit her lip as she watched him sleep, even though they had been together a few months now and she was pregnant, he still couldn’t keep his hands off her on their honeymoon night, Amy laughed when he initiated their fourth time that night, but Jake told her how being married to her made everything better, starting a family, not the words she would have expected from the Jake she had known before his undercover assignment.

She sighed as she thought of all the things they needed to do to get ready for their child, every time she thought of those words, our child, with Jake, she smiled, it was surprised, changes would have to be made, but for whatever reason, it felt right. She knew they had to tell Holt, soon, had she been with a different captain, she would be terrified to tell them, pregnant officers were not always treated fair, some being forced on desk duty for years, others not even being offered that and instead forced to take unpaid leave, which was in stark contrast to national laws and court rulings, but that didn’t seem to matter to the good ol boys club or old school cops.

Amy read and subscribed to several magazines for policemen and had found many articles about pregnant police officers, it made her nervous, but that was before Holt was her captain, and Terry was the kindest and fairest sergeant she’d ever worked with.

“Ames, what ya thinkin bout?” Jake both yawned and said as he rolled over smiling at her.

Amy grinned, “do you really want to know? It might scare you?”

Jake laughed, “c’mon Ames, i doubt that.”

Amy smiled even bigger, “okay, Mr. Brave, we have to tell Holt and probably Terry that I’m pregnant.”

Jake stopped smiling, “okay, not terrifying, they’ll be great, but eventually the others will have to know, I love the nine-nine, but between Rosa having no feelings, Charles making up the difference and then some, Gina being the emoji version of resting bitch face syndrome, and Scully and Hitchcock just being themselves, that’s a gruesome thing to think about this early in the morning.”

“I know, but they should know. Captain has decisions to make, hopefully with us, but Terry should know as well, I can’t pretend it won’t affect my work at all, so he should know to fairly distribute cases and assignments.”

“You don’t think it’s too early to tell them? Terry and Holt?”

Amy touched his face gently and shook her head, “it could affect us both, our decision making, they should be aware of it, it’s the right thing to do, babe, sorry.”

Jake groaned, “noo, you’re right, as usual. We’re not telling the parents yet are we?”

Amy shrugged, “I don’t know, I’m not ready, but she shouldn’t wait too long to tell them.”

“That would be a good Christmas surprise/present for them. Merry Christmas, you’re having a grandchild.”

“That’s not too bad, we’re married, so it’s not as shocking, and I’m in my early thirties now, if this had been five years ago, my parents would freak out. My dad is set on my plans, I hope he can chill some.”

“My mom will be crazy happy, she rightfully probably doubted I would ever have kids, or a wife she liked, a lot.”

Jake’s phone buzzed, “text from Charles, Holt and Terry are at our hotel for a conference, that’d be awkward, running into them after the traditional sexcation that newly weds take.”

Amy frowned, “you don’t think people thought we were having sex before? We lived together, and I told Terry we did it, remember?”

“Oh yeah, but still it’s different now, right?”

Amy shook her head, “I don’t think so, but I also think this could be an opportunity. What if we told them today?”

Jake was surprised, “What? Who are you texting, not Holt, I hope.”

“No, Terry.”

Jake frowned at her, “that’s not a lot better, Ames.”

Amy’s phone immediately buzzed, “they’ll come up in an hour, when they have a break, he did tell us to be decent.”

Jake groaned again, “why am I nervous? I sort of feel like people will be disappointed you didn’t create a super baby with some smart person instead of me.”

Amy grabbed his chin with one hand and pulled his face so he was looking at her and kept the grip, firmly on his chin, “listen to me, Jake, you are smart, you are who I want to be with, holy shit Jake, we’re married, and too late to make a superbaby, but our baby will be super. My book smarts, your instinct, my skin, your hair, my legs, your butt.”

“Getting weird, Ames, getting weird.” Jake grinned at her, taking her hand in his and stroking it absentmindedly with his thumb, “but I get it, our baby will be awesome. Kind of crazy, in July I thought you would marry Teddy, I didn’t know if I would make it out alive, and my biggest worry was that I hadn’t told you how much I liked slash loved you.”

“Yeah, it’s a bit fast, but it’s not like Charles and Vivien, who didn’t survive the engagement, plus, unlike them, we know each other, I knew way too much about you, especially before I had feelings for you, then it was creepy, now, it’s less creepy and occasionally adorable.”

Jake nodded, “I can take less creepy and occasionally adorable, that’s sort of my sweet spot.”

An hour later, Jake and Amy were dressed, they were in the living area of their suite, they had ordered drinks and snacks, Jake was nervously pacing around, “Babe, chill, this will be over quick and they will be great, I promise.”

Jake was about to respond when there was a knock on the door, “Oh man, oh man,” Jake opened the door and tried to smile normally.

Terry and Jake said hello, entered and sat down, Terry kept smiling at Jake and Amy, “Jeffords, stop the smiling, it is creepy in the context of the knowledge of their night of socially expected lovemaking.”

“Yeah, that’s just as creepy as the smiling, but whatever.” Jake said as Amy grinned at him.

“Well, Jake was right about talking to people while technically still on our honeymoon, but I wanted to tell the two you, I am pregnant, not sure exactly how far along. I still need to see the doctor, but I took like six tests, I’m definitely pregnant, I wanted to be forthright about this, but Terry, not blabbing, not yet.”

Holt peered over at Terry, “the sergeant will be discreet, as will I. We will need to discuss a plan for your work, I see nor reason for you not being able to handle your duties for the next month to two months, some exceptions are fingerprint kits, gun cleaners, etcetera, but after the one to two months, you will be on desk duty, which for you would include interrogations and actual detective work.”

“Thank you sir, I just knew I needed to get it out there, I was nervous, even in this day and age many female officers are treated poorly if they get pregnant.”

“I am aware, detective, it is a travesty, but together we will make a plan that works for you and keeps you safe. Peralta, how are you with this news?”

Jake smiled, “I’m great. Gonna be a dad, just hopefully not like mine.”

Terry hugged Jake, tightly, “Jake, you are so much better than that guy, he’s a user, look at his life. You are not like that, you have come a long way, you will be a great dad! Cagney and Lacey will love this baby too!”

Holt eyed Jake, “Peralta, you need to realize that DNA is not the indicator of our abilities nor our personalities, it can play a part, but our choices, that’s what ultimately makes us who we are, you have chosen to help people, you always choose that, you would never ditch out on a wedding for a casual sexual encounter like he did, I would be concerned about the child picking up on your dietary habits than you being like Roger Peralta.”

Jake laughed, “that’s my captain, heartfelt comment and truthful insult.”

Amy took Jake’s hand, “he’s already better after his shooting, he’s had to be, but he will continue to be better, because I need him around.”

Four days later, Jake and Amy were at the doctor’s office for Amy’s first appointment. Jake was enjoying everything, feeling like a good dad, his mom had told him that his dad never wanted to go to appointments and hadn’t even been there when Jake was born. Amy was happy, but still nervous, she was an avid reader and researcher, which is a good thing, but sometimes it could also make her read the negative possibilities, which were bombarding her thoughts presently.

They were soon called back into the examination room, the doctor joining them quickly, after the normal small talk and questions about the pregnancy, out came the ultrasound machine.

“We won’t see much, but we can maybe find out when you’re due and hear the heartbeat.”

“Noice, baby Peralta, for realz.”

Dr. Oliver ran the scanner over Amy’s belly as she looked at the screen, pressing buttons on her keyboard occasionally, “well, according to the ultrasound, you are eight weeks along, making you due in thirty-two weeks, making the due date in August, the first according to our calendar.”

Jake smiled, “that’s right around the time we got together, nice, August will always be a good month for the Peraltas.”

Amy had decided that Christmas would be too far away to tell their parents, so she arranged a nice Holiday get together dinner with all the parents, minus Roger, which Amy understood. Their house had a small Christmas tree, and a minora as they tried to placate all involved parents. Jake’s mom was Jewish, his dad was not, but his dad wasn’t religious and wasn’t around a lot so Jake counted himself mostly Jewish, choosing mostly because he loved bacon.

Victor and Camila arrived early, Karen was only little late, and soon they were seated, eating brisket, Jake’s mom’s recipe. Amy waited until everyone was mostly done eating, “Jake and I wanted to tell you that I am pregnant, we found out on our wedding day, but now we’ve been to the doctor, baby Peralta is due the first of August.

Congratulations and hugs were spread around, Camila was beaming and Karen was a little teary eyed, Victor smiled at Jake, “when you two first started dating I worried you would be the type to break my Amy’s heart, a typical young detective, you know the type, but you have made her happy, committed to here, and now a family, that’s what life is about Jake, not the cases, not the arrests, but keeping the world safe for you family, that’s a good life.”

Amy teared up as she heard her father, Jake thanked Victor and wiped his own few tears, the thought that his job was beneficial to his future kids was a cool thought. After their parents had left, Jake brought Amy some juice as she sat on the couch resting her feet, “well, one more thing off our list. Now we need a new place. That could be crazy. This is New York, I think real estate murder is only a recognized crime in this state.”

“I know, it will be tough, but we can find something. I saw a place for sale above the newly remodeled Sal’s Pizza, does Sal own that?”

Jake shrugged, “I don’t know, I’ll ask him, he loves me even more now that I proved he was innocent. Good old Sal, I have to insist on paying for pizza now, he tries to just give it to me for free, but I feel bad, but I have seen more and more people there now.”

“I don’t know about you living above that place though, you’d gain a thousand pounds.”

Jake nodded, “it’s true, that would be terrible for my health, plus that building has to be super old.”

The next several days as Christmas approached were spent looking for a new place, but everything was either not what they wanted or too expensive or too far away. Karen had invited them over for an informal Hanukah celebration, which Jake didn’t want to go to because of Amy until Amy told him she demanded they go. As they entered Karen’s house, Jake laughed at his mom’s Christmas tree and several menorahs, “moms, make up your mind.”

Karen kissed her son, “Jakey, I always liked both, you did both because of your father and I.” The three of them talked some more and ate dinner, after they were finished, Karen brought out dessert. “Apple strudel, and how’s the house hunting?”

Jake groaned, “it sucks, mom. Nothing. We need a good place for the baby, but it’s not easy.”

Karen smiled, “your great aunt Linda passed away and left me her condo. She wanted me to have an easier place to keep up, she was so funny. But, I’m thinking I should do it, two bedrooms instead of four, a doorman, a nice place for a single older woman.”

Jake’s mouth fell open, “and sell my childhood home? That’s terrible, Karen.”

Karen shook her head and grinned at Jake, “What if I sold it to the two of you, for a very good price?”

Amy smiled, “we couldn’t do that to you, Karen.”

Karen frowned and shook her head, “listen you two, this is happening, if you want this house. It’s paid off and the condo is mine, I inherited it, I have very few bills, I live cheaply, make your mother happy Jakey and say you’ll buy this place, but it will be very cheap, I know what real estate is like around her now. I want to be in Linda’s condo, my new condo, by New Years Day, what do you say?”

Amy and Jake looked at each other and smiled, “okay, moms, we’ll do it.” Jake stood up and gave his mom a huge kiss, she wrapped an arm around his head.

“Amy, you deserve a house for putting up with him.”


	18. chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake's back in the hospital.

chapter 18

The last two and half weeks had been a blur, between working and packing, Jake and Amy had barely registered the rest of the holiday season other than to take advantage of extra days off to pack. Amy had suggested they exchange gifts, but after they were moved in the new house, postponing on account of moving she called it, using baseball like terms. Jake’s mom wanted new furniture for her new condo, so it was hard for Amy and Jake to talk her out of some of what she wanted to leave them.

Jake was carrying the last of the boxes in the house a few days after New Year’s Day when he felt it, a sharp pain on his lower right side, at first, he thought he had lifted the box weirdly or done something else wrong, but then the pain kept persisting, and growing in the intensity of the pain. Jake dropped the box on the stairs to the upstairs and shouted.

“AMY!!! I think I’m dying!” He laid on the staircase and held his right side, “moving is trying to kill me!”

Amy came out of on the upstairs rooms, “Jake, c’mon, you’re not that hurt.”

Jake screamed something incomprehensible and she noticed him sweating and his body writhing, “Jake, car now! Let’s get you to the hospital.”

Jake shook his head, “just let me die, Ames, remember me as the brave man I was, not like this.”

Amy tried not laugh, “Jake, I think you have a kidney stone, my dad had one and did the same thing, they hurt really bad, but let’s get you to the ER so they can get more fluids in you and pain killers.”

Jake wobbled his way to Amy’s car, she refused to drive his, he laid in the back seat and howled the entire way there, only stopping once to throw up out the window, which made Amy feel more nauseated as she was pregnant and sensitive to smells and sounds. When they reached the ER, Jake stepped out of the car and collapsed, two nurses saw him and quickly grabbed a wheelchair, Amy told them his name and that they thought it was kidney stones as they wheeled him away and she parked the car.

When she entered the emergency room, they guided her towards Jake, once in the correct hallway, she only had to follow the sound of his yelling, when she walked in the room, they were about to take Jake to get a CT scan.

“Ames tell my mom I love her and tell the baby I’m sorry I won’t be around.” He looked pale, but Amy and the nurses couldn’t help but laugh at his dramatic interpretation of his situation.

“Babe, you’ll be fine, it’s a kidney stone, I’m sure of it.”

One of the nurses nodded, “we agree, your symptoms, your pain, we just need the scan, so we can administer the pain killers and whatever other prescriptions the doctor sees fit to give you.”

Jake took a deep breath, “the pain is down a little, damn, people really have these all the time?”

Amy nodded, “my dad had one, his dad had a few, my grandma had one in Cuba that was so big, it had to be surgically removed and the she kept it in a bottle of rum on the mantle, or so they say. She was hardcore.”

Jake pounded his chest with a single fist, “respect, she is hardcore, so how big a stone are we talking, pebble size or one like for a slingshot?” He grabbed his side again as another wave of pain washed through his body.

Amy tried not to laugh again as she shook her head, “no, Jake, think like a grain of sand or just a tiny bit bigger.”

Jake pounded his fist on the bed, “what!?! All this pain for something so small?”

Amy pressed her hand to his face as they were about to take him away, “yes, the ureter, the tiny tube between your bladder and kidney is very small, only liquid passes through, so this feels terrible in there.”

Jake frowned as they rolled him away for the CT scan, “aaaugh, a grain of sand is killing me! Save me!”

Amy shook her head and sent a text to Captain Holt.

Amy: Jake has a kidney stone, in a lot of pain, at ER, we might miss tomorrow

Holt: Amy, this is Captain Holt, I understand and wish Jake a speedy recovery. Raymond Holt

Amy laughed as she read his response, Jake would find this hysterical when he wasn’t about to pass out from the pain.

Not quite ten minutes later, they rolled Jake back in the room, hooked an IV back up to him and told them the doctor would be in soon. Jake kept panting because he said it made the pain not hurt quite so bad. “Ames, the nurse said this is close to the pain of giving birth, only that the birth thing is worse because you feel things before and after the actual birth part, unlike the kidney stones, so props to you and I’m sorry for putting you through that.” He winced as he grabbed his side and then groaned, again.

The doctor came in soon, an older woman with bright red hair, she smiled when she saw Jake’s face, a nurse followed behind her. “Mr. Peralta, I’m Dr. Gibbons, I see you’re in a lot of pain, so I’ll be quick, you do have a kidney stone, it is in the ureter, and it is rather lodged in there, it isn’t big by our standards of large or small, but for a kidney stone in the ureter, it is very large. Helen will put in an IV with a painkiller and also a muscle relaxant. Normally, we would send you home, but according to your record, you had a kidney removed from a gunshot wound? That’s some story I assume, am I correct?”

Jake sighed, “I’m a detective for the NYPD, I was shot, undercover, with the mob, so a good story, but it sucks.”

The doctor looked empathetic, “I understand, but with one functioning kidney and this obstruction in your ureter, I would like to admit you until this passes it could take a day to three days, but with only one kidney, it is extremely important to monitor things and make sure you pass it soon and without damage to your only remaining kidney. The other issue will be your diet afterward, your urine test shows you don’t drink nearly enough water, your kidney needs attention and care Mr. Peralta, failure to do so will result in kidney damage, which could lead to kidney failure which would then require a transplant.”

“Do you understand me, Mr. Peralta?”

Jake nodded, knowing Amy would be forcing water down him, a lot. While he hated water, he was glad he had Amy to look out for him. 

The doctor talked a little more and then left, Jake could feel the painkiller working, he turned to the side to see a frowning Amy. “Sup, Ames?”

She caressed his hand, “what’s up is that you will start drinking a lot of water, this is serious Jake, you can’t be the old you and not drink any water or only pee once every two days.”

Jake sighed, “damn, you do know me. I’ll be better, you know I hates me that agua.”

Amy frowned again, “yes, but I also know I don’t want a young husband with kidney failure, I’ve seen what that looks like, Jake, you do not want that.”

“Okay, I promise, more water.”

Two hours later, Jake was moved to a room in the main part of the hospital while he waited for his kidney stone to pass and could be monitored. When the nurses found out Amy was pregnant and would not leave Jake’s side, they had a double size hospital bed brought down so she could stay with Jake and be more comfortable.

Amy and Jake were curled up together asleep when they heard a high-pitched squeal, Amy groaned and tapped Jake to make him look, Charles was holding a large basket of Jake’s favorite gummy candies. “You two are so cuuuute. And what’s this about this bed holding three of you? Amy’s pregnant, isn’t she?”

Amy smacked Jake, he was the one who had told the nurses Amy was pregnant, so they would be extra nice to her. “You handle this one Jake.” Amy closed her eyes trying to wish away this current problem.

Jake hemmed and hawed a bit, “fine, Charles, she’s pregnant, but you can’t be weird about or tell anyone, or I swear, I will never let you hold, touch, or look at our baby.”

Charles went pale, “Jake you wouldn’t?”

Jake nodded, enjoying the power he suddenly held over Charles, “oh yes I would, oh yes I would. Don’t try me Charles, we wanted this to be a secret for a little longer, we just found out, the day of our wedding.”

Charles smiled again, “everything has been so perfect, Jake, not like for Vivien and I.”

Jake sighed, “Charles, you will find someone, Vivien and you moved too fast.”

Charles pointed back at Jake, “so did you and Amy.”

“Yeah, but we’ve known each other for a while, we know just about everything about each other, and neither one of us was pressuring the other to leave their job and their friends behind.”

Charles frowned, “yeah, that’s true, I’m happy for you guys.”

Amy smiled and opened her eyes, “thanks, Charles, and you can be in charge of the baby shower when it’s time, does that sound okay?”

Charles’ entire face lit up with a huge grin, “oh, I will keep this quiet but start working on the baby shower, thank you guys, you won’t regret this.” His phone buzzed, and he glanced at it, “oh crap, I gotta run, Rosa says our suspect in a murder case is on the move. Bye you love birds!”

As Charles ran out Amy looked at Jake, “I’m already regretting it, why did I just agree to let him do the baby shower?”

Jake kissed her, “you’re a sucker.” Amy elbowed him, “just kidding, we’re nice and Charles needs it, I’m glad he knows, it will keep him happy.”

Amy ran down the street to a taco place for their dinner that night, Jake was smiling when she returned.

“Well, somebody’s very happy for tacos.” Amy kissed him as she set the bag of food down on the bed.

“Not just the tacos, I’ve just never been in a healthy relationship before you, I forget how good you are to me.”

“Well, don’t get too used it, your turn is coming.” Amy handed him a few tacos.

Jake took a bite, and then talked with food in his mouth, “I got you Ames, you and baby Peralta will be so well taken care of, you won’t know what’s up.”

Amy looked at him, “two things, your mouth is full and second is what you said a good thing?”

Jake smiled, “of course, it’ll be great, my Ames and my baby, I’ll be a kindness ninja.”

Jake’s phone buzzed, Amy picked it up, “Shit, Jake, Gina’s asking why you didn’t tell her about the baby.”

“What, text Charles and tell him he’s dead to us.”

Amy texted Charles and immediately received a response, “he says it wasn’t him, he’s been working a case with Rosa all afternoon and is still there.”

Jake took his phone and texted Gina, she responded quickly, as expected of Gina. “Terrance Jeffords!”

Amy frowned, “Terry told her? C’mon Terry!”

“Gina says it was accidental, he was talking about how great it is that his girls will have a friend baby and Gina pressed him and he caved, with a lot of pressure.”

The next day, Amy woke up and Jake was spooning her kissing her neck in his sleep, his morning erection pressing into her. “Jake, wake up, you’ll get yourself overexcited, this is not a private place.”

Jake opened his eyes, looked at her, then realized what she meant as he felt his erection pressed up against her ass. “Oh man, I hope this damn thing passes soon, morning spoony sex is the best.”

“Jake, quieter, the nurses pop in and out.”

Jake sighed and kissed her neck again, “I know, I know, it’s not my fault you’re hot.”

Amy smirked at him, “really? I think most guys just need a place to plant their penis and they’re happy.”

Jake shook his head, “not me, I could have been with more easy chicks, but some are just too nasty, and I don’t know, I don’t want to be like my dad.”

Amy smiled at him, “sorry, babe, you’re right, you’re not like him, or most guys, and that’s a very good thing.”

After lunch Jake was watching a movie while Amy sat in a chair reading when his eyes got big, “Ames, help me with this IV, I gotta pee, and quick, get me the cup.”

Jake had been instructed to urinated in a strainer to catch the stone, so it could be tested to determine what caused and hopefully allow the doctors to help Jake prevent future ones. Amy helped him and handed him the strainer, she had just sat down when Jake screamed.

“Jake are you okay?”

“Yes, this thing passed, it’s so weird, a goddam penis rock!”

Amy rolled her eyes at him, “that’s disturbing.”

Jake came out of the bathroom holding the little stone between two fingers, “it’s awesome, that lil fella caused so much pain. Best part though, home and some extracurricular activities.”

Amy made a face, “could you please not refer to us having sex while holding a rock that you just peed out? That’s going to make me nauseated.”

That evening they relaxed back at their new house, Jake’s childhood home, after he was released from the hospital. Amy came in the living room with two bowls of ice cream and sat down next to Jake, leaning her body against his as they watched Reservoir Dogs. 

Jake took a bite of ice cream then frowned at the movie, “this is a little too real now, especially after both of us having had shitty experiences undercover.”

“That’s the point, Jake, you can’t get with criminals and not be affected or brought to their level somehow.”

“Tomorrow, we have to finish up unpacking and setting things up, then Monday, back to work. Does it feel weird to be back at your house, but have it be your house?”

Jake shook his head, “honestly, I love this place, it was a great house growing up, I spent a lot of time at my Nana’s house, I hated being here alone after my dad left, but not our kid, he or she will love the backyard, having friends over, I could never do that, my moms worked a lot in those days, just to keep us from losing this place.”

“She’s pretty amazing Jake, I know you were left alone a lot, but it beat losing your house.”

“For sures, I wasn’t easy to deal with either, as a teenager, I was angry, a lot. I wanted answers as to why my dad left, but I wasn’t ready for it, I needed to blame her then, she was my authority figure, y’know, I was bound to blame her.”

“I never questioned authority, I craved it, did not make for a lot of friends sometimes.”

“Oh God, it’s cute how dorky you were,” Jake kissed the top of her head, “you and I, we both sort of grew up lonely, for different reasons, but it helped us to look at what really matters, Gina always teases me about how you’re boring, but I just see someone who has my back, is fucking hot, and is passionate.”

Amy caressed his leg, “I know, my brothers all couldn’t believe you were a cool type cop and not a boring one like Teddy, they didn’t see how you and I could be together. Speaking of my family, they want to see the new house, so I was thinking of a friends and family birthday party for you, this place isn’t huge, but for the ones who live around here, it shouldn’t be too bad.”

“That doesn’t sound very happy birthday to me, but I’m a team player now, team Amy all the way.”

“Team Peralta, you married me, remember?”

“That’s what the tattoo keeps telling me.”


	19. chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy and Jake start thinking about the baby and what has to be done.

chp 19

She awoke to the sound of screaming or yelling or someone in pain, she wasn’t sure, she looked at the clock, it was eleven in the morning, she shook her head, Jake must have turned off her alarm again. Jake had been insistent that Amy get more rest, always he said, but especially while making a mini human, so he had taken to turning off her alarm on weekends and he somehow got up without waking her up. She was not eight weeks into the pregnancy, just last week they had decided on which room make the baby’s room, there had been debate because Amy thought it should be Jake’s old room, but Jake struggled at first to take down all of his old stuff.

Amy got up and followed the yelling, which turned out to be swearing, as she entered Jake’s old room which was now painted in neutral colors and would be the baby’s room, she smiled as she saw Jake staring at instructions for a crib he was trying to piece together. “Why won’t you fit! This is for a fucking baby, it shouldn’t be so fucking hard.”

Amy couldn’t help her self as she snickered from the doorway, Jake looked up from his spot on the floor and blushed, “shit, Ames, sorry, I’ve been a bit loud with my frustration and swearing, sorry.”

Amy walked in and kissed him on the top of the head, “it’s okay, these things aren’t easy, and it’s eleven. What do I smell downstairs?”

Jake smiled, “I made orange rolls, nana’s old recipe, hadn’t thought about them in years but this morning I woke up craving them, walked to the bodega, got what I needed, and you need to try them, they’re ridiculously good. I haven’t introduced you to them earlier because you may have sworn off men once you were so satisfied by a pastry.”

“I don’t think you have to worry, although a pastry wouldn’t have knocked me up.”

Jake grinned, “see, you’re already seeing the benefits. How are you feeling?”

“Ugh, why does everyone ask me that, all the time, I’m fine.”

Jake stood up and hugged her, “Ames, you’re pregnant, your body will experience terrible things so people have to ask now before you chase them away.”

Amy pushed his head away as he tried to kiss her, “very funny, but I’m serious, I’m fine.”

Jake sighed, “Ames, we’ve been through this, a lot, you are doing awesome, you are, but people will ask, it’s just something they do, it beats having Charles ask about conception or your sexual preferences while pregnant.”

Amy stuck out her tongue in disgust, “yeah, that’s the most nauseated I’ve been, hearing that, well that ties the time Hitchcock was eating a bad egg salad sandwich without a shirt on.”

Jake shuddered, “that one made everyone sick, terrifying. So, I’ve started thinking about names.”

Amy cupped his face with her hands, “that’s adorable and terrifying, I’ll probably have to say no to all of them.”

“Ames hear me out, I may have some good ones.”

Amy took a deep breath and sat down in the recliner they’d already placed in the room. “Okay, Jake, let’s hear them, knowing I have to be one hundred percent on board while you only get a thirty percent say since I have to do the hard parts in this pregnancy.”

“Yeah, men suck, but I promise, no Die Hard names, and I was only joking about Nicolas Cage Peralta.”

Amy’s eyes narrowed, “I doubt that very much, but let’s hear what you have.”

Jake calmed himself, and then smiled, “Jacob Junior, we call him JJ or Amy Junior and we call her AJ.”

Amy groaned but smiled at the same time, “those are cute, but Amy Junior, AJ, I don’t know, and do you really want a JJ.”

Jake nodded emphatically, “c’mon, growing up in the early eighties, reruns of Good Times, JJ from that show, he was awesome.”

Amy’s smile vanished, “so you want to name our child, if we have a son, after Jimmy JJ Walker, who basically only did the one show, and then became a one hit wonder of television?”

“Yes, problem?”

She rolled her eyes and slumped in the recliner, “so many problems, but it should be clear my answer is no, although Jake Junior isn’t terrible, call him Jakey like your mom calls you.”

Jake grinned and blushed, “you like that?”

“It’s not terrible, those were my words, but we have time. Any ideas for girl names besides Amy Junior?”

“No, though I now get daily emails from both Charles and Gina trying to convince me of male and female versions of their names, but I would never name a son Gino Peralta, he would be involved in a Jersey Mob family by the time he was eleven. What about you adorable pregnant one, any ideas?”

Amy shook her head sadly, “no, none of come to me yet, maybe later, but not yet.”

“I’ll be so excited when we can finally know what we’re having, that will cut down fifty percent of the name issue.”

Amy started to cry, just a few tears, Jake was about to ask her what was wrong when she beat him to the punch, “Sorry, babe, it’s just a mixture of hormones and I decided yesterday that I need to stay in for desk work now, I’m getting more and more tired, I’ll be showing more and it’s just time. It’s hard on me because I’m so goal and career focused, but I would never forgive myself in any injury happened to the baby.”

Jake sat on her lap and put an arm around her, “this is all your decision, guys have it way too easy in all this, so whatever you decide, I support, unless you go crazy at nine months and want to join the SWAT team.”

Amy laughed as she wiped away the last of her tears, “don’t see that one happening, but thank you. I already had to yell at Charles for sending me articles about the dangers of being pregnant while in the field.”

“I know, he’s probably still crying and scared.”

The next day, Amy started her tenure as a desk jockey, pencil pusher, or whatever other terrible names were associated with only doing desk work. It was hard to see Jake, Charles, Terry, and Rosa go out on cases, but Jake texted her about every update, asked her opinion and made Terry do the same, he told her if he asked Charles to do that, she’d get way too much information, and nobody would be stupid enough to ask Rosa to do that.

When Jake finally got back to the precinct in the afternoon, he looked angry, his texts had stopped over an hour ago, so she knew something serious happened that either pissed him off or required his attention. “Jake, what’s wrong?”

Jake took a deep breath and walked over to her, kissed her on the cheek and took another deep breath before speaking, “Doug Fucking Judy.”

Amy closed her eyes, Jake’s nemesis, he’d been tracking this guy for years. “That bad?”

Jake sighed as he sat at his desk, “He made a deal with Rosa, to help her find the giggle pig king pin, but I don’t like it, he plays us, always. I’ll get over it, just pisses me off, you know, you have your people that set you off.”

Amy laughed loudly, “yeah, for a few years it was you.”

Jake smiled and nodded, “yeah, I can remember, it was so much fun though, you were so cute when you’d get angry.”

Amy cocked an eyebrow, “and now?”

Jake’s demeanor changed, “much less fun, especially since we’re married and I have to deal with all consequences of making you mad, but you’re always adorable, Ames, always.”

Amy blushed, “alright, Peralta, save the sweet stuff for home, Charles might hear.”

Jake saluted and checked his emails, “son of a bitch, Ames, you won’t believe this.”

“What?” Jake had turned red and looked angry, which was honestly rare for him.

“My dad somehow got my NYPD email, he wants to meet you, my mom told him you were pregnant, I’d be mad at my mom, but she sold us her house and she’s my moms, but still.”

Amy reached across the desk and placed her hand on his arm, “babe, it’s okay, it was bound to happen, I have to meet him sometime, he’s your dad, regardless of how we feel about him, he’ll always be a part of your life.”

Jake grinned slightly, “I like how you said how we feel about him, my enemies have to be yours and vice versa, this love stuff is overrated.”

“When does he want to meet?”

Jake groaned, “that’s the worst part, he wants to bring takeout to our new place, which he knows exactly where it is, because he used to live there. I should start his visit by showing him the different places I saw him fucking other women, or the places I cried because he’d let me down, again and again.”

“Jake, if it’s that hard then say no, I support you whatever you choose, this isn’t easy and if you’re not ready than don’t do it.”

Jake looked surprised, “really, I was about to say yes because of what you said and because I figured you’d make me, you know, like drinking water and eating vegetables.”

“Babe, it’s obvious there are still a lot of issues at play here, and he couldn’t even make it your wedding and be there to support you, this is your dad, you decide how you want to play it, you have been great with pregnancy stuff, this is no different, not happening to me so I shouldn’t get to dictate what you do.”

“Damn, Ames, you got emotional game, straight up respect.”

That night, Jake made a lasagna recipe he found, he’d read that ricotta cheese was a good source of iron and that pregnant women needed a lot of iron, and Amy couldn’t believe how good they were.

“Jake, these are amazing. What did your dad say about your response?”

Jake played with his lasagna now, “I told him I wasn’t ready, he tried to beg, but I told him I needed time and that he couldn’t just pop in when he wanted, that my needs had never mattered to him, despite all his promises to be better, and then threw it in his face he chose fuck over family from our wedding.”

Amy nodded as she chewed, “well, I would have worded it differently, but it’s fair, Jake, he can’t have a relationship only when he wants, it’s not fair to you.”

Jake didn’t stop playing with his lasagna, he just stared down at his plate.

“Jake, what’s going on? Be honest?”

“Fine, I’m worrying again about how good a father I’ll be. I know you and my mom say it’s stupid, but I still worry.”

Amy took his hand in hers, “babe, look at me, you worried about how good a husband you’d make, you’ve been great, you support me, you help, you’ll be the same as a dad, don’t worry. You’ve even started to eat better, most of the time, I found your gummy stash in the garage.”

Jake snapped his fingers loudly in frustration, “I knew I should have hidden them better, but thanks, I need to hear that. My doubts, they come hard and fast, I just couldn’t live with myself doing to our kid what my dad did to me. I mean, look at long term relationships, not a lot, if I hadn’t been a cop and had a foxy awesome partner, we wouldn’t have gotten together, and I’d be screwed.”

“Jake, you don’t have to worry about that, you’ll be fine, you always realize when you’re wrong, eventually, and the way your mind works, you’re so good at understanding what other people feel and think, it’s how you solve cases, but it’s also how you realize when you’re wrong and make things up to people. Just keep doing that, and you’ll be the best father our baby could hope for, it’s sort of why I married you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Leave comments, apparently I’m attention hungry or something.


End file.
